I want to send a note of thanks out to one of my friends who silently reads my blog and then emails me or talks to me in person, rather than posting comments to my blog. I have a couple of those kind of friends out there. While I'm at it, I will also say "thank you" to April for the lovely card, as well. ;)
But I want to thank my one friend for the very thoughtful gifts. I'm not going to call you out here or be too specific, but what touched me so deeply is this: You listened. You listened to me, even when I didn't know you were listening, and your gifts reflected that. I am touched and I want you to know that. Thank you so much.
More later, I hope...if I ever get caught up! Geez! ;)
Thursday, June 28, 2007
I want to send a note of thanks out to one of my friends who silently reads my blog and then emails me or talks to me in person, rather than posting comments to my blog. I have a couple of those kind of friends out there. While I'm at it, I will also say "thank you" to April for the lovely card, as well. ;)
I prepared this post several weeks ago as my first "Thursday Thirteen" post. My trip didn't work out, but I'm posting this, anyway. I'm thinking by the time December rolls around and it's cold in Ohio, Georgia may sound even better! ;)
- My favorite uncle lives there.
- It's not here.
- I would be off work.
- I would get to see my little cousin, Jessie, who is a doll.
- I would get to catch up with my Aunt Pat and my cousins.
- I would get to sleep in.
- I loved my first two trips there
- I would be spending time with my daughter....just she and I on the trip down.
- I would get to fine tune my very slight southern accent.
- There is a chance I could take a dip in my cousin's pool where the water is warm and there is always good food waiting after a swim.
- I would be taking lots of pictures to scrapbook at a later date.
- Did I mention that I wouldn't be HERE?
- I might actually get a little color if I get out of the office.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Hey, just wanted to let you know I'm back to work and swamped. I had a great trip: we got a lot accomplished and training went well. We also did some sight seeing/relaxing and way too much eating out. However, it wasn't fast food and I made some good food choices. I drank lots of water and cranberry juice along the way! ;)
I will post some photos soon. Tennessee really is a lovely state.
Today I've been crying and regrouping off and on throughout the afternoon. My Uncle Ron has had some unexpected family emergencies arise and he's had to ask me to reschedule my trip to Georgia to visit him. I'm so disappointed, but some potential other travel plans are in the works. Depending on some varying factors, all of this may work out to be even better than I had planned.
When we were in Tennessee, it was so stifling hot (and I hate hot) I actually said, "Why don't I go south in the winter like the birds do?" Turns out, we have a plant shutdown the week between Christmas and New Year's, like we have for the last two years. It looks like I may be able to go to Georgia right after Christmas if we play our cards right. We'll see....God willing and the creek don't rise.
I told Uncle Ron, "Look, my only draw to the state of Georgia is you and your family. That's the only reason it's my second favorite state in the US." I've been there. This is just my opinion, okay, so I hope not to offend anyone, but: It's dusty, hot, there isn't a whole lot of anything scenic to explore: and I'm taken aback at how there are very few flowers or anything colorful there...other than the red earth. Now, granted, there may be lots more to see in other parts of Georgia that I haven't explored. For me, it's just not the prettiest state I've ever seen.
So, this may work out even better....stay tuned for developing news...;)
Hope you're having a good day where you are.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Okay, let's see: I've been working my fingers to the nub (as has Bipsy) to get ready for our training in Tennessee. I keep telling her, "Whenever you get stressed out, think of the name of the hotel we'll be staying in: "The Hilton Garden Inn." I haven't had much of a chance to see what the hotel is like, but the name itself sounds relaxing. I'm looking forward to the trip, just for a change of pace. We leave Saturday morning and return Monday night.
I've had a uti AGAIN this week that has turned into a fun kidney infection. So, I'm on antibiotics for that. I am sitting at my computer with a heating pad on my back. I went and bought one because I knew the lower back pain would be much more tolerable with one. I was right! Ahhhhhhh. Now I just need a plug to convert it so I can plug it in on the trip down to Tennessee. ;)
I mentioned the dwarf hamsters babies in one of my text message posts. They are so cute it's almost paralyzing. :) They are totally sweet (unlike their parents) and easy to handle. I would sit and watch them all day if I had the time (but I don't) so I took some pictures. Maybe I will find time to post them here soon. I amazed at how something so tiny can be so active and amusing to watch. Jo adores them!
Robert wants to take me out to dinner tonight. I am torn between wanting to go home and pack and then lay down with the heating pad and actually going out to dinner. It's a toss up. I know I will miss being away from the family, but getting in bed, covering up with the comforter and resting sounds so inviting. We'll see.
As I mentioned, Ellie sent me a really cool package of Strawberry Shortcake items, none of which I have seen around here. There are stickers, (enough for me to use some and save some) a water bottle, a keychain doll, a retro Strawberry Shortcake patch, a postcard, a mini tote and my personal favorite, the night light. I'm sure I've missed something. That was such a welcome surprise. I'd been having a crappy week, and it was just the pick-me-up I needed. Thank you so much, Ellie!
I also mentioned that Josh is doing well on his job. He is getting all kinds of encouragement from his bosses. They want him to work more and more hours, but we're reigning him in, keeping him around 30 hours. I don't want him to get on burnout at this age. I know from firsthand experience that employers will work a workhorse to death. A good worker can easily be taken advantage of and end up exhausted. He's too young for that and doesn't NEED to work 40 hours a week. There will be plenty of time for being a workaholic when he's an adult. :) Why start now?
I'm looking in to renting a car to go to Georgia instead of taking a bus. Our transportation situation is grim right now, with both vehicles heading to the shop this week. Plus, they both have some age on them now. One is a 1997 Astro van and one is a 2000 Ford Taurus. Even if we have the vehicles back and ready to go by next Thursday night, I'm not sure I want to tax them by putting the additional mileage on them. Factoring gas prices and car rental, I'd still come out a bit cheaper by driving myself, since Jess is going with me. Plus it would afford me more freedom to sight see a little along the way. I'll miss out on some ecclectic characters in route, but I can live with that. :)
Other than that, no new happenings in my life.
I would like to request thoughts and prayers for my friend, Sheila, and her husband, Terry. Their dog, RD, died Sunday, on Father's Day. This dog was like their baby; slept with them, went everywhere they went...wanted for nothing. He died when his harness got caught in one of the electric fences on their farm. He started trying to chew through the fenceline, and it electricuted him. Terry happened to be away at the time. They live on a 40 acre farm with cows, goats, sheep, horses, Shetland ponies, etc. Their two dogs had a lot of running room. I guess RD went under the fence after a rabbit (which he did quite often) but happened to get caught this time. The fence was set on low, but he took a shock for long enough that his heart stopped. I know just how difficult losing a pet can be, so I am very sympathetic with their plight.
On that sad note, I must close.
Hope you're having a good week! More later!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Monday, June 18, 2007
I'm just now starting to (reluctantly) open my eyes.
Work is work, and I'm too busy to linger here long.
I just wanted to say, "hi." Hope you had a good weekend, and hope your Monday is going decent for a Monday. Anything exciting to report in your world?
Saturday Bipsy and I leave for Tennessee to conduct safety training at our sister company there and we will be back to our regular routine Tuesday.
Part of me is looking forward to the trip, but the other part of me is already missing my family in the worst way.
The following week, Jess and I head out to Georgia to visit my uncle. I am close to tears because I simply can't wait to go! I miss Uncle Ron so much! My little cousin Jessie is Jo's age, and she, too, is unable to contain her excitement about our visit.
I'm going to be tired by mid July! We plan on going to Chicago the weekend after that, (July 6th, 7th, 8th) so we'll see what happens. I'm hoping that trip works out. It's going to be a matter of how much of what we get done how soon. :) Did you follow that? ;)
I'll try to post more later today.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos
This looks like a fun contest, but if you want to enter it, the deadline is tomorrow night, so hurry!
Here's the scoop:
Here's the blog author's example:
There once was a musing blog written by Jen
Okay, here goes my attempt:
Okay, that's all I have right now. Wish me luck! ;)
I'm happy to report that my car problem was simply the fuel injector went out. I'm so thankful!
I don't believe I've ever been thankful for a car part going bad. But I am now. No tampering by livid neighbors is a good thing!
Hope you're having a good weekend!
I entered this contest online and wanted to share it with you so you could do the same if you like: The deadline is rapidly approaching on this one, so check it out:
Hope you get a chuckle from the entries!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
It still exists.
Yes, on both sides of the coin.
There are still some very angry, very volatile people in the world.
They still teach their kids to hate.
Yesterday, Jo was playing in our yard with a whole group of friends, as usual.
We had little tiny water balloons filled up, which they were tossing at one another. It was 90 degrees, and it was a good way to cool off.
Jess had just stepped in the house to take a phone call. We all got our "new every two" Verizon phones, and she didn't want there to be any risk of it getting wet with the water balloon fun.
Josh was at work.
Robert was in the shower.
I was "swiffering" the living room floor.
Suddenly, Jo burst in the front door, crying.
One of the neighbor boys had hurt him and ran away, with his friend, laughing.
Several other boys stuck around to make sure he was okay, and to tell me what happened.
About a year ago one of these boys came in the yard and called Jess a "b" and tried to hit her. She ducked his punch, punched him (in front of about 12 kids) and knocked him down. He went crying home with a bloody nose.
Yesterday, this same boy took a piece of plastic tubing and swung it at Jo, slapping him across the face with it, leaving a bruise below his eye. These boys are fourteen years old. Jo is nine.
Then both boys ran out of the yard, laughing, yelling, "Stupid nigger!"
The remaining group ran in to tell me, Jo leading the pack, crying.
The boys were nowhere to be found when I got outside.
I walked across the street to where the older boys' grandparents live.
I explained the situation, and the grandmother (who is a saint) explained that she wasn't surprised, because the attitude about race trickled down to the kids from her husband. He walked up behind her, saw me, rolled his eyes, and walked away. I asked her to speak to her grandson about the situation. That he was no longer welcome in our yard, as he clearly had no concept of what respect is. I told her that I didn't care what their beliefs were, and they had every right to say whatever they wanted on their own property. I let her know that if anyone comes on my property and conducts themself in that way, then we have a problem.
I went up to the other boy's house (whose dad is the head of our animal control division, and I don't want to make an enemy of) and repeated my speech to her.
This boys' mom told me that she reserves the right to make a determination on the incident because I am "giving her only one side of the story." She didn't seem the least bit concerned, and seemed convinced that I was making up the whole story.
Today, we got in our car to go to work...and guess what? It wouldn't start. Coincidence? It had been running fine up until this morning. No engine light has come on, no funny noises, no issues starting or running. As we speak, it is being checked to see if it has been tampered with.
ALL WE WANT IS TO LIVE IN PEACE AND LET OTHERS DO THE SAME. To use an overused quote: "Can't we all just get along?"
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
There for awhile I was doing a series of posts on my most embarrassing moments. I was sitting here, and one just came to me. It wasn't really embarrassing in a public way, but more in a personal way.
I really did live a very sheltered life in many ways. One thing I took for granted in my young life is a simple task: My grandmother always bought my underwear for me. (Could that be why I had so many "bloomers" in my underwear drawer?) ;)
Well into my twenties, Grandma bought me underwear and socks for every single birthday. It was kind of a nice, especially when I was struggling to make ends meet as a young wife and mom with two babies. I never had to worry about that clothing expense. I just had to focus on keeping my kids in diapers! ;)
That being said, when Robert and I got together, I took over the buying of his underwear. Seemed like something we just got used to doing. Like mother, like daughter. That's what I bought Robert for birthdays. Socks and underwear. And sometimes shirts and pants.
Anyway, one year my grandmother decided that she was bored with the socks and underwear thing. She was done with it where I was concerned. She started buying me small appliances: an ice tea maker....a good blender...etc. She began buying socks and underwear for the kids. She was a practical thinker where gift-giving was concerned.
So, logically, I had to start buying socks and underwear for myself.
The first time I went to buy myself underwear, I used the same logic buying panties that I did buying Robert's undies. If a man's underwear is sized just like their pants are, women's must be, too. Right? For example, Robert wore a size 34 jean. So his underwear was like 34/36.
I wore a size 12 jean at the time. So, I should buy a size 12 pantie, too. That was my logic.
I didn't read the package.
Reading the package would have been a good plan, right?
I picked up what looked like 6-7 pairs of panties in a pack. I took them home.
I opened the package.
Low and behold, I quickly learned that a size 12 pant size does not equal a size 12 pantie ....
There were two pairs of underwear in this very large package.
I held them up for inspection. I thought I had bloomers before! Wow. I could dust a baby grand piano with those all in one swipe.
Needless to say, I learned my lesson that day.
a.) always read the package
b.) never assume anything
c.) no one I know wears a size 12 pantie
d.) be thankful for wise grandmas who know how to buy underwear
Okay, that's it. Have a good day. More later.
The problem with my video is that my dial up at home won't let the video load all the way before the loader times out. I have to save the movie to disk, bring it to work and upload it from here.
I hope to have it up and running by tomorrow or at the latest, Monday.
But at least we're halfway through the week. Hope you're having a good one!
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
I checked on YouTube, and they said that due to the high volume of video posting since yesterday (? something in the air ?) that videos would not show up as quickly as normal, and to bear with them. I'm starting to wonder if their system crashed, because mine was "uploaded successfully" last night and is still not showing up. ;) Weird.
I let the family see it before posting it, and Robert actually laughed out loud. That was my "sign" to go ahead with it. If I had it on my work computer, I'd just go ahead and post it on my blog from there. Alas, I did the video from home.
I used Windows movie maker. It's not a professional video, but it was fun to make. I've been wanting to work on it and post it since last fall. Takes me a while to get to personal projects, since Robert and I are personal nonstop taxi service for two teenagers and one nine year old. Not to mention that we are car sharing, and have been for months. This does help us with budgeting during these crazy gas prices. It's alot easier to budget gas money for a car than it is to budget for a car and an Astro van.
However, did I mention I have to get up at 4 am so that Robert can be at work by 5 am? Then I go lay down in the conference room until it's time for me to start work.... Did I mention that he has to hang around town until I get off at 5 pm, and then we start our evening? Did I mention that this is getting on both of our nerves? Did I mention that we don't use credit cards, so I have to save up money for auto repairs, so nothing gets done in a timely manner? Did I mention that I almost have the money saved to get the repairs on the van done? We're within a week of having two cars again! (God willing and the creek don't rise...) haha! YAY! Now that the van is close to being worked on, I have to start saving for brakes for the car. Sigh. At least we don't have a car payment right now. That's good.
But I digress....
In other news, I feel really good, and my blood pressure is still normal. I'm so happy! I have so much more energy than I have had in months!
Jess has her last softball game on Friday! Hallelujah for that!
My friend, Wyn's step mom (who lives right around the block from us), called yesterday. She asked me if Josh would like some clothes that her son, Tom, left behind when he moved to Massachusetts. I said, "sure!" We went and got them yesterday. Shorts, jeans, shirts, sweaters, etc.! Boy, Tom had good taste in clothes! I can't imagine this is his "castoff" stuff! Josh was happy, I was happy. What a blessing! Saves me money in the long run!
Other than that, nothing major. I had Jo with me at work yesterday. He was so good. Just played quietly, watched t.v., and ate his food/snacks. Sometimes I just go back and look in on him, just to smile at him. He's growing up so fast! I try to cherish was little time left I have before he turns into a teenager, too. :)
Okay, I'm outta here for now. I hope the video is up soon. If it isn't up by the time I leave here tonight, I'm going to try to resend it another way from home.
Hope you're having a good day!
Hey, I posted a video on YouTube...see sidebar on my blog...but as of this morning, it's not up and running yet. It should show a still frame of my video once it's ready to go. It was a lot of fun to do, but I'm a major rookie, so bear with me. Hope you at least get a chuckle. ;)
Friday, June 8, 2007
A while ago, I found this idea on Pat's family blog, and I thought it was neat. I saved it to my documents, and have toyed with the idea of using it in a post off and on. I asked myself, "Can I really come up with 99 things about myself?" I still don't know the answer to that, but I'm going to give it a whirl. I'm hoping that some of you follow suit, and try this on your own blog. I just think sometimes it helps to reflect on who we are at heart. It helps us get to know one another, as well as ourselves.
I am sure some of this list will be repetitive, so please forgive me if I bore you to tears. ;)
- My name is Kristi, but nearly everyone calls me Kris.
- I was named after a 70s soap opera character.
- I have a 16 year old son named Josh.
- I have a 14 year old daughter named Jess.
- I have a 9 year old son named Josiah...aka Jo-Jo.
- I will have been married to my husband, Robert, 16 years on July 4th.
- I have four dogs...Gideon, Taz, Carlito and Maggie.
- I have two cats...Tiga and Sheba.I have six guinea pigs...Sabu, Bentley, Lilly, Milly, LaBrawn and Carmello.
- I have three unnamed dwarf hamsters. They bite. I should name them B1, B2 and B3. (Biters 1, 2, 3.) ;)
- I was raised by my paternal grandparents.
- I purchased the house that I was raised in and that my dad was raised in.
- My grandfather built the house. He was a gifted carpenter.
- The house we live in really is too small for us, but I love it, anyway.
- My birth mother died at the age of 58 in 2005.
- I didn't meet my birth mother until I was almost 18.
- My grandparents that raised me are deceased. My grandfather passed away in 1995, and my grandmother passed away on New Year's Eve 2004/2005.
- I do not have a relationship with my birth father.
- When I was a teenager, I planned to be a missionary. I didn't want to marry or have kids.
- I met my husband while he was a cook and I was a waitress at a local restaurant in my senior year of high school.
- I am now an Administrative Assistant/billing clerk for a small manufacturing company. I will have been there 9 years in August.
- When I accepted this job, my youngest child was 9 months old.
- In high school, I lettered in tennis. I started out on the reserve doubles' team and ended up first single's varsity.
- I once took a twelve mile canoe trip down the Little Miami River in the Dayton area. I thought I was in peak physical condition at that time in my life. The next day I couldn't lift my arms above my head because my muscles were so sore.
- I started a Christian support group in our high school in my sophomore year that met once a week before school.
- My brother, Eric, is my only sibling that was raised with me and we both have the same mother and father.
- Eric has four children, all boys.
- My birth mother's mother was a native American from the Arapaho tribe. She was raised on a reservation.
- My husband is of African American descent, with Mexican heritage on his father's side.
- My husband does not have a relationship with his birth father, either.
- Many people think my husband is "Samoan." We are asked that all the time.
- Other people think my husband looks like the actor, Ice Cube. We've heard that like a hundred times. ;)
- My birth mother remarried after my father and she divorced. Her second husband was African American. I have three half siblings from that union. Tony, Todd and Tami.
- Tony has three children... a boy and two girls.
- Todd lives in Hawaii. He has no children.
- Tami has three children...all boys. She just had her youngest in April.
- I've been friends with my friend, Wyn, the longest; since I was three and she was four. She lives in the Springfield, Massachusetts area.
- I can't swim. I can float and tread water, but I can't swim.
- I wasn't allowed to get water in my ears as a child because I had perforated ear drums. This is why I never learned to swim.
- Growing up, we only had one dog. His name was "Ole' Yeller." He came to our house, a stray, when I was nine years old. The vet believed him to be 9 months to a year old. He lived to be 17.
- I have kept a diary since I was nine. I have many diaries that have huge gaps of time in them, but have kept some sort of written record of my daily life through most of it so far.
- I am glad I kept those diaries, because I have big chunks of time that I can't recall from my childhood.
- When we were little, if a stray cat or kitten came to our house, (which many did) and we asked to keep it, we were almost always allowed to. Off they would go to the vet to be spayed or neutered, and then they hung around our house or barn and lived out their lives there.
- One of our strays lived to be 21 years old.
- I collect Strawberry Shortcake stuff. I have way too much of it, but I love it.
- I love to scrapbook, and I have completed 40+ albums, including gift albums, to date.
- I am a Creative Memories' consultant. I don't actively sell the product, I'm what's known as a "hobbyist." (Stay active as a consultant for the discount.)
- I go to a scrapbooking crop at least once a month.
- My favorite food is Mexican food.
- I hate pecans, especially pecan pie.
- My least favorite vegetable is asparagus.
- I love brussel sprouts.
- I can't stand to eat white bread.
- I'm not a big fan of pork. It's because I don't like foods that are real salty, which bacon and ham usually is.
- My grandmother used to make me an orange chiffon cake for my birthday every year.
- My grandmother used to buy me towels every year for Christmas. Now that she's gone, I miss that a lot. I'm thinking of asking for towels for my birthday this year from Robert. I love new towels.
- I love Big Macs, so I avoid them like the plague.
- When I was pregnant, I craved McDonald's french fries and Frosted Mini Wheats. (For the kid in me...haha.)
- I am terrible at math. Always have been. I use math every day on my job. I use my adding machine a lot.
- Music impacts my moods greatly. That's why I don't listen to country music. It depresses me.
- I love pop music, particularly upbeat. I like any music that makes me happy. Top 40, Contemporary Christian, and 80s are my favorite genres.
- My favorite scripture is Psalm 139.
- I went to church camp three years in a row from my freshman year to my junior year.
- I get my feelings hurt rather easily, but I'm working on that.
- I never discuss my political views. Period.
- I wear jeans to work almost every day.
- I've worn contact lenses since I was fourteen.
- I picked strawberries at a local fruit farm for a whole summer to buy my first pair of contacts.
- I had braces from 7th grade to my freshman year of high school.
- I can't understand why people think Bob Dylan can sing.
- My brother, Eric, is named after Eric Clapton and Bob Dylan.
- My least favorite popular singer is Beyonce. Her voice is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.
- I think Chad Krueger from Nickleback has a sexy voice. It irritates my husband when I say that.
- I think Weird Al is a comedic genius.
- I love to laugh. I laugh a lot. I prefer movies that make me laugh. I think there are enough sad events in real life. I'd rather see a movie that takes my focus off the sad stuff.
- I could make a lot more money than I do if I sought another job in my field, but I'd have to travel to Dayton, Cincinnati or Columbus. I would rather spend that extra travel time with my family, so I stay where I am.
- I'm not a big fan of change.
- Something in my personality craves stability.
- Something in my personality craves chocolate. :)
- My biggest worries usually involve my son Josh or finances.
- We have so many projects we need to do on the house we live in, but never seem to have the time to do them. Or additional money in the budget.
- I'm not a morning person.
- I love to sleep.
- A good day for me is one where I got a nap in.
- I rarely have a day where I get a nap in.
- My favorite physical charateristic is my eyes.
- My least favorite characteristic is my complexion.
- I can tan really well but I don't get out of the office enough, so I stay pale.
- It is my goal to have lasar vision correction surgery one day.
- I want to go to college after my kids are all adults.
- I adore my Uncle Ron in Georgia. He reminds me a great deal of my grandfather in personality. He looks just like my grandmother did, but acts just like my grandfather.
- I also adore my Aunt Marlene...my birth Mom's fraternal twin. They looked nothing alike, but I used to always get them confused on the phone. Their voices were that similar.
- I used to love to wear dresses, and now I hate it.
- I've never been out of the country. I hope to change that soon by visiting Canada. ;)
- Robert and I both have ugly feet.
- In my early twenties, I worked for a Jewish family helping serve food during their Passover feast. The church I attended at the time focused on the Jewish roots of the Christian heritage. There was a member of the church that had a kosher food business. The weekend I worked for this Jewish family was one of the most wonderful in my entire life. They were fun, lively, great story tellers and extremely generous. I will never forget them.
- One of my lifelong goals was met in 2001 when I got to attend a Billy Graham Crusade with my family in Cincinnati.
- I've been to one NFL football game (Bengals) and several Red's baseball games. I love to watch NFL football on t.v., but hated it in person. I hate to watch baseball on t.v., but loved it in person.
- My dream car is a 1972 yellow slug bug. Maybe I'll buy one after the kids are grown....
Wheh! Okay. That's it. It is hard to figure out what to say on these lists. Feel like giving it a try? ;)
Thursday, June 7, 2007
I made it to the doctor yesterday without the appointment being cancelled. It went well. In fact, I've lost ten pounds since my last visit in March. That's 17 for the year. That's a good thing!
I told the doctor that I had stopped exercising since I've been having this trouble breathing when I walk and I was sure I would have gained. He says we should market the "do nothing and lose weight" diet. We'd be a smashing success! ;)
Anyway, he says shortness of breath and wheezing can be a symptom of high blood pressure.
What he wants to do is start me out on a water pill to see if that helps get my blood pressure under control.
I took my first pill this morning and I, of course, have been running to the bathroom ever since. Now my ring is so loose it's falling off, and believe it or not, I can breathe. The "crackly" sound when I breathe is gone. I can take a deep breath without it hurting. I feel like my energy level has improved. The swelling in my feet is all but gone now, so my shoes are really loose. All good things!
I'm supposed to keep track of my blood pressure for a month and then have a follow up to see how we're doing from there. Thankfully, this drug is inexpensive, falling in to the $10 copay slot on my prescription drug plan.
I'd say that the appointment was a success! Just thought I'd update you.
Hope you are having a good Thursday in your world.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
There are some things in my life I'm thankful for right now, and I am going to share them here today. I tend to get caught up in the heartache and struggles of life sometimes, and forget what good things are happening in my life.
- I am very thankful for my friends. I appreciate you all so much! From my friends that I've had for 25+ years, to the friends I've recently gotten to know through this blog: you are a daily source of inspiration for me. Thank you!
- I am thankful that I have a job, that I am working and able to work. That stability is something I often take for granted, but I know things would be different if I suddenly found myself out of work.
- I am excited that I recently pieced together a computer for the kids. So, we are now a two computer household. A monitor here, a mouse there, and an unwanted pc from a friend...boom, we're in business. All at no cost to me! This addition is going to be extremely helpful in the future, I predict. The monitor and keyboard both look like new! The mouse is a cute little AFLAC mouse that has the AFLAC duck "swimming" around in it...a freebie from our AFLAC insurance agent. ;)
- I'm happy that my Ipod shuffle is not dead as I supposed it was. It wasn't loading or updating or charging on my work computer. I was sure it was fried. I took it home and it worked just fine on my home computer. I wasn't about to spend any money to replace it with needing numerous things repaired at home. Now it is back in business, which will really prove to be a blessing on my long bus ride to Georgia and back at the end of this month.
- The day I posted about my kids being distant was the day I came home and Jo gave me a hug as soon as I walked in the door. Jess has been spending a lot of time talking to me about what's on her mind and that's as healing to me as it is to her. I can handle dealing with the things Josh says and does if the other two kids don't seem distant at the same time. Even Josh thanked me for helping him on a school project yesterday. Wonders never cease! ;)
- School is out as of Friday for my kids! Woo-hoo! I always breathe a sigh of relief when that happens! It seems like the expense of having three kids in school (all in three different buildings) gets ridiculous at times. I love summer as much as they do. Not only is it vacation time, it's time for a break from the rat race that the school year can be.
- Today is my doctor's appointment and they haven't cancelled it so far! Yay! Thank you, God!
- I had to have a talk with a friend on Monday and I had anticipated it would go poorly. I think this friend was also expecting the worst. We were both so relieved that we handled a delicate situation with ease and were both happy with the outcome. Wheh!
- It's a sunny, beautiful day! It's warm but not too hot and we're halfway through the work week! That's reason to celebrate!
- Jess was telling Robert that she never sees us hug and she doesn't know why. Robert asked Jo if he agreed with her, and he said he did agree. At the time, Robert didn't reply, but he's hugged me every day since that conversation. He's not a very touchy-feely person even with me, so this is indeed a breakthrough. In the past if when I've tried to hug him, he usually seems unresponsive or tenses up, so I'd all but given up. I don't know if this pattern of behavior will last, but I rejoice in it while it does. I know that God can change a heart, so I'm trusting that Robert is a work in progress, just as I am. ;)
Okay, that's my "Top Ten List" of things I'm thankful for. I hope you have lots to be thankful for today! Have a great day wherever you may be!
Monday, June 4, 2007
You know, I have a conflicting personality issue. I don't have the emotional discipline to ever have a "poker face." If I'm angry, it shows. If I'm sad, that shows. If I'm happy, I glow. At the same time, whenever something is really bothering me, I don't have an easy time opening up. I go inward. I take everything inward. When I am hurting, I am obviously troubled in the eyes of those around me, but I just don't feel like letting go of things, or sharing what's on my heart.
I hold my thoughts inside for varying reasons....sometimes it's a matter of pride. Other times I think that I can't really share how I feel because so many people have so many more struggles than me. Is it fair to whine about things when there are people with difficulties (even in my circle of friends) I can't begin to fathom? Still other times I think I would rather keep things to myself than to ever hurt someone around me. Often I just feel like if I would improve my outlook on life, I'd count my blessings and quit dwelling on stuff I can't control. Maybe that's true. Yet sometimes I face issues that need a solution, and I just manage to prolong my stress by not addressing them.
Even in this blog, sharing about personal struggles isn't easy for me. It's a little easier because it's written expression, not spoken. I can think about what I'm going to say, then type it. I can edit the post and then revise it again if I don't feel it sounds just right.
With Robert, I have always been pretty good at just saying what I think. I've never feared losing him because of being forthright. Although, over the last few years, I've even become a bit more guarded with him than I used to be. I've realized that in the past I've been rash and immature. I've hurt him by being too frank and too honest, and that was not my intention. I thought that we had an open communication. Yet when I applied my standard to his statements to me, I realized I wouldn't want him to say to me some of the things I say to him. I guess it's the whole "Do Unto Others" philosophy.
So, with age, I've become quieter. I joke around a lot when I am happy. Sometimes I can even be quite chatty. But the more I am struggling or sad or down, the quieter I become. Sometimes it's easier not to speak than to have to explain myself. Or rally for my point. Or to make changes.
The other day, Robert said, "You seem so distant lately."
If he says it, it bears considering. He's a man of few words. Yes, he will occasionally get in moods when he's talkative. However, for the most part, he is introverted. Maybe the longer we're together, the more alike we're becoming? I don't know.
You know, based on the case I have laid out here, I realize something has to give. I have to work some of my thoughts out. I can't keep things bottled up. I don't know for sure, but maybe some of this high blood pressure stuff is related to keeping silent about so many things. Is this the person I'm meant to be?
One thing that is eating away at me is my relationship with my kids. Yes, all three of them. Especially Josh, but even on a smaller scale with the other two. There's an old saying that "we teach people how to treat us." There is some truth to that.
My kids do not respect me, and I am realizing that I am partially to blame for that. I hear myself saying the same thing over and over and over, and yet unless I get angry, they pretty much ignore me. Sometimes I feel like I'm a ghost, in the room, rattling my chains and trying to be heard, to no avail.
All three of my kids have ADD. They do not exhibit signs of hyperactivity, but the inattentiveness is a big issue with them. This is inherited. Robert has the same diagnosis.
In a crowd, you wouldn't pick them out as ADD kids. They aren't especially rowdy. They aren't huge troublemakers. They seldom get write ups and school or on the bus. They are just kind of...spacey. Each of them have pretty much identical parent-teacher conferences each semester.
The teacher usually says something like this, "Josh-Jess-Jo (insert correct child here) lacks motivation. They have a hard time staying on task. They are staring out the window or out into space somewhere. They have trouble getting assignments completed on time."
My kids get along well with other kids. They are all popular and have more friends than I can keep track of. Yet they can't follow through with things unless I am constantly after them.
I've tried it all. Vitamin therapy, prescribed medication, music therapy, reflexology, prayer, posting to-do lists, etc., etc. It's just exhausting.
They get mad at me. Mad because I am constantly reminding them to do this or that. With each reminder, I get louder and more insistent. When I get fed up, I yell. Then they get madder.
Recently, Josh was diagnosed as bipolar. However, the Catch 22 is that ADD is inactivity in the frontal lobe of the brain. Bipolar is characterized by excess activity in another part of the brain. The medications that would help either would make the other one worse. So, we're in a waiting game. The trick is to wait until one or the other becomes unmanageable and then treat accordingly. It is like waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Josh is so angry 80% of the time when he's at home. He's short with the whole family. He is often disrespecful in his tone. He can be very stubborn about doing what he's told. And trust me, we don't ask a lot of any of them.
For every good moment I have with Josh, there are 1,000 bad ones. Robert keeps telling me to harden my heart against his hatefulness. That I take too much to heart...I need to realize that Josh's mood swings are in no way an indication of what kind of mother I am.
It's easier said than done, this hardening my heart against my own child. How do you do that? Is that a father thing? Is that a learned thing? How do you close your heart off so that hurtful things don't sting any more? It's not something I've been able to accomplish.
Now, Josiah is at that age when he's outgrowing Mom...he's starting to become a whole lot more independent. Gone are the days that the minute I come home, he would race to the door to give me a hug. Lately I can't even seem to cajole a hug out of him. I never thought he'd change. I always thought he'd be the lovey-huggy-kissy kid. Boy, was I wrong!
Jess has been in that "don't touch me" teenage stage for a long time. She can be very dramatic and throw tantrums when she doesn't get her way. However, for the most part, she's a typical teenage girl and we get along fairly well. I believe that when she is an adult, we will be friends and she will remain very much a part of my life.
Right now, I am just feeling lost where my kids are concerned. Most of the time I am around them on the weekends, I am longing to be at work. Work is an oasis of calm for me. I know how to do my job. I do it. Simple. There is no wondering what I could have done differently or contemplating if I made irreparable mistakes or constant tension over silly stuff. It's just a peaceful environment. I spend most of my time working independently, which I love. I can listen to what I want to on my computer...I can pause to blog when I'm not swamped, and even when I'm swamped, I am capable of handling it.
Sigh. Double sigh. Triple sigh. I truly wish each kid was born with their own personalized handbook that says, "do this and do that."
Sometimes I wish there were fewer waking hours in the day.
Sometimes I wish I was born without a heart.
But mainly, I wish I could fastforward through certain moments of my life.
That's about it for now.
Thanks for tolerating my ramble.
Hope your Monday is not filled with "I wish-es" and "what ifs."
Friday, June 1, 2007
I am so glad it's Friday. I am so ready for the weekend. I am trying to wake up, but it's just not happening this morning.
Next week I have a Wednesday doctor appointment. I'm hoping they don't cancel, but we'll see. I'm still not breathing well, though it's better. My blood pressure is still high, as well as my pulse. Something is up. I stay tired, but that's not all that uncommon. Hopefully we'll be able to rule out some stuff and get to the bottom of this.
Okay, blogger peeps, I miss you. Hope you have a good weekend, and hope to see more of your writing next week.