Adventures of the Wayward Parents

This post ended up being a late in the day post. I don't know why, but it seems I've been busy all day. I think maybe it's that I didn't get in until nine, instead of when I'm supposed to at eight, and the rest of the day has been hectic. I turned off my alarm when it went off instead of hitting "snooze." I woke up fifteen minutes after I was supposed to be at work! That wasn't really the most productive start to the day. I just don't feel like I've accomplished all that much to have been so busy.

Last night Rob and I went to the mall....GASP....without the children. It was really nice. The first place I stopped was Payless. There's a movie/music store right across the hallway, so Rob went there while I looked at the sales on sandals. The sandals I had on were rubbing the back of my heels and grating on my last available nerve. So I got these sandals that look like something worn in ancient Greece. They're gold and backless. Alas, they aren't good walking shoes. No padding. So, these will be the "wear around the office or anywhere I don't have to do excessive walking" shoes.

I went to Victoria's Secret...another GASP....because they had sent me a coupon for a free pair of undies...up to a $7.50 value. The first thing I thought was, "$7.50...for a PAIR of underwear?!?!?!" They'd better sculpt, shape, tone, make me look ten years younger, ten pounds thinner and play MP3s if they're $7.50! Geez! I went in, fully intending to buy something else in the store. You know, maybe a nice spray perfume or maybe a cute summer sleep set. But I figured it all out. I KNOW what Victoria's Secret is. Only it's not a very well hidden secret.

The secret is that they only hire women who are 95 pounds or less, 21 or younger, that wear enough makeup to keep Clinique in business, who are above average in looks, whose hair is four shades lighter than bleach blonde and at least a foot and a half in length, are below average in intelligence, and have the attitude that they are God's gift to all mankind. Okay, I know that was harsh. It's just my generally feeling after having left the store. Maybe it's just this particular store. I haven't made any comparisons or taken any surveys to prove my theory. :)

You know, I don't want to go on and on about this one stop, because the night was more pleasant than unpleasant. However, a few things must be said:

#1. If you are over thirty and look like a mom...guess what? You are still a person who deserves respect. Remember, girls, you'll be my age someday, and all the damage you've done to your hair and skin and metabolism will have caught up to you by then. So there!
#2. Snotty, rude remarks made to me or even another customer are not likely to make me buy something...it will make me LESS likely to buy something. If you work on commission...well, you do the math. Oh wait, you might not be able to add, since you're such a bubblehead!
#3. High pressure sales tactics also make me less likely to buy something just because it irritates the crap outta me. Figure that out!
#4. I also get irritated watching clerks pressure other customers to buy things they don't want. Treat people how you'd want to be treated and you'll go MUCH farther in life.

Finally, and this is just a general observation:

#5. I was shocked that an Amish woman was browsing the "thigh high hose" and "garter" section of the store. At that point, I lost most of my irritability and was just incredulous. Who knew? Under all those very conservative clothes could be ...DOUBLE GASP....Sensual lingerie! Wow.

Anyway, I basically stomped up to the register, slapped down my coupon and free very basic looking pair of panties and said, "This will be all for me today." in a very firm voice. Unlike the previous customers who were subjected to a barrage of interrogation, the product was rung up, placed in a bag, and that was that. I don't have any intention of going back in there....ever. Hrumph!

Okay, then we left that mall and went to one that had a Build-a-Bear Workshop. I kid you not, my experience there was the direct opposite of the one I had at Victoria's Secret. It was a blast! In fact, I had gone in with the assumption that the bear I wanted was going to be at least $75, and that I would probably just price it. Instead, I found that the bears start out at around $18. The outfit I wanted and accessories totaled only $20! It was amazing. The staff was cheery and helpful. There was no high pressure sales tactics. They helped me step by step make the bear I wanted. It was one of the best shopping experiences of my life!

I made "Scrappy," who is my scrapbook bear. I plan to take him with me to my crops from now on. They allow you to print out a "birth certificate" and the whole nine yards. Plus, since I purchased the scrapbook outfit, I got two free scrapbook sets to make a page. The kits included stickers, paper and letters. It was so cool!

Rob went in with me, which was real treat. He was excited to see how they had Browns and Bengals football outfits, stuff for just about every imaginable interest. I know Jess will want to make a cowboy bear. Jo loves monkeys, so he'll probably make a Browns' monkey. Jess works on the weekends, so she'll most likely make one in the next week or so. Jo's birthday is coming up soon, so his will be in celebration of his big day.

Anyway, after the Build-A-Bear fun, we went out to eat at a new restaurant that recently opened up near the mall. It was a roadhouse place, and it was nice to go out, just the two of us. I noticed that I only had a very small portion of food and was immediately full. I can tell my appetite has significantly decreased over the last few weeks of eating the way I have. So, I took my entire meal home.

The funniest part of the evening was when I got home. Jess spied the Victoria's Secret bag and said, "Awwww, mom, look at you! Victoria's Secret! Did you buy something sexy?" She snagged the bag and looked inside. She gave me the most disgusted look, and said, "Mom. Come on. You went all the way to Victoria's Secret for GRANNY panties?" She shook her head and walked away. Oh, that was a hoot! What was she expecting? I'm not sure I even want to know!

Anyway, though this is a late post today, I'm going to try to post some pictures of my bear creation before I leave. Cross your fingers!

Hope you have a super great weekend!

Grandmas and Grandkids

Just a few cute e-mail stories to start the day.

An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws."You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella.

Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head.His grandmother knelt down next to him "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"

The boy looked up, "Really?"
"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles."The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."

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A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"

"You're both old," he said.

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When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four."

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A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,"Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."

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Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his friend about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea."
The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed.In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the submarine to sink?" With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!!"

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A second grader came home from school and said to her mother,"Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool."That's interesting," she said. "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y" to "i" and add "es."(Why wouldn't an English teacher love that one?)

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"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."

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A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning.He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green Army men in the cup. She said "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?"
Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!"

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A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties."They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster."No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close..."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

Giving Thanks for What I DON'T Have

I got this hilarious song sent to me from a friend. I'm not sure if she herself has a cubicle that she works out of, but I am thanking the good Lord that I don't. I have a huge, open office, with two big picture windows, a big L shaped desk with two chairs. One of the chairs is an Aereon. I have two drawers just for personal use...printer cabinet, overhead cabinets, under desk storage, etc. I am very blessed to have the office I do. I don't have any privacy, because my office is in the foyer. Although I'll gladly sacrifice privacy to not be cramped up in a tiny cubicle.

Anyway, here's the funny song: Hope you get a laugh out of it!

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Waiting to Exhale...or Inhale...Either Are Pretty Beneficial

I feel sooo much better today! I can breathe again! Oh boy. Yesterday was not a good asthma day for me. However, I took two psuedoephedrine and two Benadryl. Usually, psuedoephedrine makes my heart beat fast, and Benadryl makes me sleepy. But guess what? Together, I had neither problem. My sinus headache went away, I stopped sneezing, I could breath. It was amazing! Why is it that I suddenly feel like Elvis...one pill to make me wake up, one to make me go back to sleep? Hmmm....But the point is, I feel like my normal self again. If there, indeed, is such a thing. :)

Yesterday after work Rob and I ran several errands. Boy, was that air thick. The mugginess was hideous. I bought one of those misting fans to take along the way, so that I could tolerate the lack of a/c in the van. It helped.

After all of the running, I picked up some pizza and drinks, got the kids and headed back to town to see Sheila and enjoy her pool. By the time I got there it was almost eight o'clock, and had cooled down considerably. The pool water felt warmer than the air. We all had a great time, splashing and goofing off, cooling ourselves after the sweltering heat of the day. We stayed until dusk and headed home.

I am so glad I'm back to feeling good. I have places to go, people to see. Who has time to be sick? Geez! :) I want to clean tonight and tomorrow, and do laundry. Friday night I have a crop to go to with Bipsy, Sheila and Sandy. I plan to concentrate on just making decorative items that I've been looking at in my idea books. Maybe some borders to add to pages later on. Having pre-made stuff like that around is a fast and easy way to get books done. At one of our last crops, we made some cute frogs with their tongues sticking out to try to catch a dragonfly. I already have it in my friendship album, and it's gotten a lot of oohs and ahhs. Thank goodness I don't have to come up with these ideas all on my own. My poetry writing is about all I can handle, creatively speaking.

And speaking of poetry, all I ended up doing blog-wise yesterday is posting a bunch of poems I pulled out of a notebook of mine from 2001. It's all neicy's fault. :) I felt inspired by her blog to post some romantic-type poetry, so I did. I didn't feel motivated to write anything new, so that was a good compromise for me.

Finally, I am happy to report that I have lost 13ish pounds. I've been eating hummus, cottage cheese, yogurt, fresh fruit and veggies, pretzel thins, drinking lots of water and eating no fast food for several weeks. I've only worked out to my Leslie Sansone "walk" videos a couple of times a week, but I've been very disciplined about my eating. I am excited about where I'm headed, and the healthy choices I'm making. I have my web based "Sportbrain," which is a fancy pedometer that helps track my steps, goals, overall activity level. I've had one type of Sportbrain or another for years, and feel it helps me stay motivated. Their website is www.sportbrain.com in case you'd like to figure out what the heck I'm talking about.

Anyway, staying on track with my fitness goals is one of the reasons I am glad I feel so much better today. I hate getting knocked off track with my asthma/allergies. For all of you fellow bloggers who have had illness control your energy levels and capacity to function normally, you know what I mean. I get really frustrated with myself when I have flare ups and I can't seem to get past them. They zap my energy and enthusiasm. I'm so thankful that this time I managed to feel better so soon.

Today my computer has played "let's have an error every five minutes and shut down for no good reason." I tried to install an Adobe Acrobat update yesterday, which didn't download properly, and I think it made my system become unstable. I was finally able to remove the installation, and so far I've had about an hour of trouble-free work time. On that note, the wise thing to do would be to post this, and not take any chance that I might lose my entire post.

So, I'm calling it a day blog-wise. Hope you're having a super great day where you are. Keep inspiring me with your awesome posts!

Attack of the Allergens

Okay, all, I am really feeling yucky today. This may be my only post for the day. My eyes are puffy and red, my sinuses are raging, and I am sneezing like crazy. Therefore, I will be working away trying to get caught up around here, just in case I have to leave for the day. I hope to avoid that. If my allergy meds kick in, and this trend turns around, I may post a bit later.

Hope you are having a good Tuesday wherever you are. Anything new and exciting in your life? Do tell. I need an uplifting story or two. :)