Thursday, August 3, 2006

Adventures of the Wayward Parents

This post ended up being a late in the day post. I don't know why, but it seems I've been busy all day. I think maybe it's that I didn't get in until nine, instead of when I'm supposed to at eight, and the rest of the day has been hectic. I turned off my alarm when it went off instead of hitting "snooze." I woke up fifteen minutes after I was supposed to be at work! That wasn't really the most productive start to the day. I just don't feel like I've accomplished all that much to have been so busy.

Last night Rob and I went to the mall....GASP....without the children. It was really nice. The first place I stopped was Payless. There's a movie/music store right across the hallway, so Rob went there while I looked at the sales on sandals. The sandals I had on were rubbing the back of my heels and grating on my last available nerve. So I got these sandals that look like something worn in ancient Greece. They're gold and backless. Alas, they aren't good walking shoes. No padding. So, these will be the "wear around the office or anywhere I don't have to do excessive walking" shoes.

I went to Victoria's Secret...another GASP....because they had sent me a coupon for a free pair of undies...up to a $7.50 value. The first thing I thought was, "$7.50...for a PAIR of underwear?!?!?!" They'd better sculpt, shape, tone, make me look ten years younger, ten pounds thinner and play MP3s if they're $7.50! Geez! I went in, fully intending to buy something else in the store. You know, maybe a nice spray perfume or maybe a cute summer sleep set. But I figured it all out. I KNOW what Victoria's Secret is. Only it's not a very well hidden secret.

The secret is that they only hire women who are 95 pounds or less, 21 or younger, that wear enough makeup to keep Clinique in business, who are above average in looks, whose hair is four shades lighter than bleach blonde and at least a foot and a half in length, are below average in intelligence, and have the attitude that they are God's gift to all mankind. Okay, I know that was harsh. It's just my generally feeling after having left the store. Maybe it's just this particular store. I haven't made any comparisons or taken any surveys to prove my theory. :)

You know, I don't want to go on and on about this one stop, because the night was more pleasant than unpleasant. However, a few things must be said:

#1. If you are over thirty and look like a mom...guess what? You are still a person who deserves respect. Remember, girls, you'll be my age someday, and all the damage you've done to your hair and skin and metabolism will have caught up to you by then. So there!
#2. Snotty, rude remarks made to me or even another customer are not likely to make me buy will make me LESS likely to buy something. If you work on commission...well, you do the math. Oh wait, you might not be able to add, since you're such a bubblehead!
#3. High pressure sales tactics also make me less likely to buy something just because it irritates the crap outta me. Figure that out!
#4. I also get irritated watching clerks pressure other customers to buy things they don't want. Treat people how you'd want to be treated and you'll go MUCH farther in life.

Finally, and this is just a general observation:

#5. I was shocked that an Amish woman was browsing the "thigh high hose" and "garter" section of the store. At that point, I lost most of my irritability and was just incredulous. Who knew? Under all those very conservative clothes could be ...DOUBLE GASP....Sensual lingerie! Wow.

Anyway, I basically stomped up to the register, slapped down my coupon and free very basic looking pair of panties and said, "This will be all for me today." in a very firm voice. Unlike the previous customers who were subjected to a barrage of interrogation, the product was rung up, placed in a bag, and that was that. I don't have any intention of going back in there....ever. Hrumph!

Okay, then we left that mall and went to one that had a Build-a-Bear Workshop. I kid you not, my experience there was the direct opposite of the one I had at Victoria's Secret. It was a blast! In fact, I had gone in with the assumption that the bear I wanted was going to be at least $75, and that I would probably just price it. Instead, I found that the bears start out at around $18. The outfit I wanted and accessories totaled only $20! It was amazing. The staff was cheery and helpful. There was no high pressure sales tactics. They helped me step by step make the bear I wanted. It was one of the best shopping experiences of my life!

I made "Scrappy," who is my scrapbook bear. I plan to take him with me to my crops from now on. They allow you to print out a "birth certificate" and the whole nine yards. Plus, since I purchased the scrapbook outfit, I got two free scrapbook sets to make a page. The kits included stickers, paper and letters. It was so cool!

Rob went in with me, which was real treat. He was excited to see how they had Browns and Bengals football outfits, stuff for just about every imaginable interest. I know Jess will want to make a cowboy bear. Jo loves monkeys, so he'll probably make a Browns' monkey. Jess works on the weekends, so she'll most likely make one in the next week or so. Jo's birthday is coming up soon, so his will be in celebration of his big day.

Anyway, after the Build-A-Bear fun, we went out to eat at a new restaurant that recently opened up near the mall. It was a roadhouse place, and it was nice to go out, just the two of us. I noticed that I only had a very small portion of food and was immediately full. I can tell my appetite has significantly decreased over the last few weeks of eating the way I have. So, I took my entire meal home.

The funniest part of the evening was when I got home. Jess spied the Victoria's Secret bag and said, "Awwww, mom, look at you! Victoria's Secret! Did you buy something sexy?" She snagged the bag and looked inside. She gave me the most disgusted look, and said, "Mom. Come on. You went all the way to Victoria's Secret for GRANNY panties?" She shook her head and walked away. Oh, that was a hoot! What was she expecting? I'm not sure I even want to know!

Anyway, though this is a late post today, I'm going to try to post some pictures of my bear creation before I leave. Cross your fingers!

Hope you have a super great weekend!


Elliemarie said...

It sounds like you and Rob had a great night out together. We don't have Victoria's Secret stores here in Canada, but the high-end lingerie stores here must follow their rulebook for hiring staff. Blonde bimbos, basically, who look down their noses at you. I avoid those stores like the plague.

Congratulations on sticking to your healthy eating goals! I am overwieght myself and know what a struggle it is. Give yourself a huge pat on the back and be proud of how much you have accomplished!

J.F. said...

The bear came out looking good! That's weird about VS staff being such idiots, who knows what their deal is? have a great weekend!

neicybelle said...

sounds like way too much fun! the bear is sooo cute!

Anonymous said...

This story just cracked me up...the "granny panties" was the tip of a laugh out loud session! Too funny...

Kristi K. said...

I see you're back from vacation! How'd it go?

I tell you, leave it to kids to put things in perspective. :)

Have a good rest of the day!