Tuesday, April 18, 2006

I am Such a Sponge!

I hate that about myself! I really am such a sponge! Today I started out the day in a decent mood. The sun was shining, I felt good, and had no complaints.

Then I started listening to a friend of mine who was crying and having a really bad day. She's going through the loss of a loved one, is feeling overwhelmed and is a little lonely. I did my best to lend my ear and not advice, and after awhile she seemed to feel better.

So I came back to work and started to get back into the swing of things. Out of nowhere I realized that I was feeling depressed and was no longer in a great mood.

I do this so often. I get so involved in reaching out to my friends and family that I take on the person's mood that I'm trying to be there for.
UGH! That is not helpful for them or healthy for me.
Now that I recognize what's happened, perhaps I can talk myself out of the blues. Maybe a little music will do the trick. Usually Smash Mouth is a good group for me to listen to when I'm not feeling my best. They're very upbeat.

Music therapy. I'll try that.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Have A Nice Easter!

Just an Easter wish for you, complete with a photo of our attempt at coloring eggs last year. May you have a wonderful holiday!

Feeling Just a Little Superficial...and I'm O.K. with That

That sums it up. I'm feeling a little....no, I lied: downright superficial today. I'm okay with that.

I feel good. My hair looks pretty darn good. It feels silky and is actually behaving itself, having actually responded to the curling iron the way I intended. I'm wearing a shirt that fits me well and compliments my....well rounded curves. To boot, it matches the color green that my eyes are. I am feeling downright...dare I say it... sexy today.

It won't last. I'll get a sideways glance at my profile accidently and it will all turn to crap in 0 to 60. But I'm embracing the "hot to trot" vibes for now. Yesterday I did some spot painting on a ladder around our full length mirror. Needless to say, I wasn't feeling all that hot to trot yesterday during or after. Today I'm trying to put that memory somewhere deep into my subconscious.

Part of this borderline conceited attitude is the weather. It's sunny, 70 something and gorgeous out. My moods are so impacted by the seasons. By winter's end I am usually ready to make some kind of drastic life-changing decision. Then spring comes and the feel-good hormones return...suddenly everything is right in the world again and all the would-be changes fade into oblivion.

Alas, not all is perfect in my little superficial world.


Rob is mad at me...and I am the slightest bit hacked off at him, but this wouldn't be the first time for either of us. We're having an appraiser come to the house for...guess what...an appraisal. We are going to do some financial rearranging, refinancing and whatnot so we can pay off our city house and actually be able to breathe for awhile. The two oldest will be 18....Josh in 3 years' time and Jess in little over 4 years time. If we want to plan any major family vacations anytime soon, we're going to have to do some slight of hand financially. After the kids are (in the law's eyes) adults, it'll be touch and go just how long the family unit as we now know it will remain a cohesive unit. Paying two mortgage payments, even though one will be paid in full next year, is quite a juggling act, so time to act or forever hold our peace.

Anway, we've known about this appraisal for several weeks, but no one seems all that concerned about it but me. Rob sat around watching the Cavs game last night. He gets home from work first and was supposed to have the kids all do some kind of cleaning project. Jess, of course, did hers quickly and efficiently, impressing me as always with her great domestic skill at such a young age. The boys didn't do squat. At eight, Jo-Jo can't be expected to perform miracles, but even he can wipe down the fridge with wipes or tidy up something. Josh, at 15, should be the helping hand we can truly rely on, as he's taller than me and nearly as strong as Rob. But no. He's only interested in t.v., his girlfriend, or his video games at this point.

In conclusion, I blew a gasket. I yelled, and huffed and puffed and ranted. In response, got the eye rolling from Rob with muttered protest under his breath and some smart alleck remarks from Josh. Jo-Jo hopped to doing what I assigned him, and Jess smiled because she was the only one not in trouble at this point. She went out onto the enclosed porch and vacuumed the carpet and then came in asked me what else I needed done, although she was technically done with her assigned chores. Then she followed me around the house chatting about her day while I finished up some tasks I had to do. Eventually, Rob sent Josh off to do some actual work, and I finally went to bed after ten.

I can't get too bent out of shape about this for two reasons: A.) I just can't. I'm the type of person who usually just says what they think right off the bat and gets it over with and moves on. I get mad, explode, then leave it. One of the hardest things for me to do is hold a grudge. It just feels like extra baggage I don't need and it bogs down my relationships. The drawback to forgiving so easily (many people think there are no drawbacks to forgiving easily, but there are) is that people tend to repeat their past behaviors. I end up getting mad over the same stuff time and again, because it never truly gets worked out. I can't stay mad long enough to make a point and follow through with it. B.) I knew Rob was a huge procrastinator when I married him going on 15 years ago. He's never changed and more than likely never will. I can either freak out about it every single time or just do stuff myself. I know he loves me, I don't doubt that. He's a hard worker, does the bulk of the cooking, loves the kids and he is very indulgent of my hobbies and love of animals. Basically, we're pretty well suited and deal well with one another's personality quirks. I could go on and on about his good attributes or go on and on about the trivial bad traits he possesses. Right now the issue that's bugging me is just he's way too laid back to think ahead. Oh well. Noboday's perfect, and if they were, they sure wouldn't want to be married to me. :) Hopefully we'll spend five minutes talking about it, put it behind us as usual, and go on with our week.


Enough of that subject.

Tonight is a crop (scrapbooking) at my dear friend, S.'s house. Many of our circle of friends that normally attend won't be there due to work or having to be out of town. That's okay, though. While I love laughing and joking around with all of them, this might be a good opportunity to hang out with S. and see what's going on in her life these days. It's been several months since I've been to a crop and I'm really looking forward to it.

Okay, I'm going to close this post and do some work. I've been minimizing the screen, working, going back to the blog, then working again. It's time to put this post out of its misery. It was kind of conceited to start with, so I say what goes up must come down.

More later.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

What I Say -vs.- What My Teenager Hears

"Go upstairs and clean your room." I said to my fifteen year old son, firmly and with great conviction.

"I'm never going to take the time to walk all the way up the stairs to actually see if your room is clean, therefore bring whatever dirty clothes you can find on the floor down to be washed, and throw the covers half hazardly on your bed and call it a day. Go ahead and talk on the phone, play video games, watch a movie, whatever- because I wouldn't want you to strain yourself by actually working hard."

The second statement is what my son heard, and therefore, that is exactly what he did. How can I fault him? He did what he HEARD me say. In a parallel universe, anyway.

That being said, I spent a good portion of my time after work last night helping my oldest figure out what Mom means when she says "Clean your room." Working with him, I helped him discover that there ARE monsters under the bed; at least that's what dirty socks, pop cans, cd cases, empty candy wrappers and dust bunnies will turn in to if they procreate under the bed. I shared with him how he CAN dust his dressers by simply moving the items on top and putting them back when the task is completed... unless the items are stuck to the dressers by some unknown pop-like spill, in which case more effort may be required.

When we were done, the room, while it didn't look like anything on a home makeover show, it looked....normal. The bed was made, spider webs no longer graced all of the corners of the room, clean clothes were no longer piled at the end of the bed...rather they were all hung up or folded in drawers. Shoes were in the closet, I could actually see myself in his mirror, PS2 games were organized, dvds and videos were organized, and the room no longer smelled like...dusty mildew.

We had a moment. We stood, looking around, and my son looked at me with awe.

"Wow, Mom. I didn't realize my room could look like this. You've got my room looking great!"

Look out, world. With this kind of success, I may find a cure for the common cold next. I'm pretty sure that I might be immune to any and all diseases at this point since I tackled that room and lived to tell about it.


Friday, April 7, 2006

Rain, Rain Go Away

I'm hoping it's done raining for the day. I see sun starting to try to peak through the clouds. Maybe we'll end up with a rainbow....that would make this a great Friday....even though Good Friday isn't until next week. Rob is off next Friday, lucky him. We don't get Good Friday off here. We do get a week off between Christmas and New Year's, so I can't complain. The kids will be off as well, so Rob should have plenty to keep him busy on his day off.
Springtime, what I've been wishing for all these months is getting underway. The signs of springtime are everywhere. The tulips are starting to bloom in the yard. I've painted the bathroom as well as one of the bedrooms. The whole family's all been doing some much needed spring cleaning. I saw a dove nesting in one of our pine trees the other day. I brushed the dogs really good just the other day, as they are shedding their heavy winter coats. Even the colors of the clothing in the stores are pastels and whites again.
I love to see the winter end! It can't come soon enough for me! I truly enjoy the warm weather and get so much more done. To make it even better, with Easter being later in the spring this year, there's a chance for a nice sunny Easter Sunday. One can only hope.