There is Hope on the Horizon!

There was a crew out yesterday, cutting the tree off the wires.

We have our work cut out for us now.

But not to worry, Sheba will help us!

There is more exciting news! As we speak, the Dayton Power and Light truck is at our house. They are fixing the line. They said it "shouldn't be too hard."

Let's hope the repairman is right!

If all goes as planned, I can clean, do dishes, do laundry, and put our food in a cold fridge! YAY!


There is hope for us yet!

Homeless but not Houseless, Displaced but not Forgotten

On Sunday, September 14th, we left the devastation that was our neighborhood and sought refuge in the town where I work. We were relieved to get out without injury. Trees were splintering, splitting, flying, falling, cracking and causing mayhem in every direction. Our (recently wrecked) van incurred a little more body damage, but nothing serious. We were happy to get safely out of the country and in to our closest city which has a lot fewer trees.

Going on ten days later, we still have no power. Since we have well water that also equals no water. Our food was ruined...we have a $500 deductible on our insurance policy, which applies to lost food. So no help there.

We have a massive tree hanging on power lines and partly clinging to another tree. The rest of our village now has power, so those are live power lines. If/when the tree comes down (which it looks more and more like it's going to do) it will crush anything in the vicinity...and the power lines will then be a danger to everyone nearby. Here's some pics to help you visualize the tree situation: (although you can't see the power lines, really.)

The insurance company assures us, despite the circumstance described above, that we cannot file a claim for "loss of use." Why? because the tree didn't fall on the house. Yep. That's the ticket.

Calls to our local power company (Dayton Power and Light) and the local sheriff's office yield nothing but frustration. In fact, I called the sheriff's department last week and told the dispatcher that I was concerned about the tree. I was afraid that if/when it falls and a motorist happens to be driving by, it could injure or kill someone. I told them I was not home because I was not staying at home. I gave them my cel phone number if they had any questions, and told them to be sure to call me. I figured a cone or a roped off area would prevent people from driving on that side of the road, closest to the tree, and that it would keep folks a bit safer in the process.

What did the police do? They sent out a deputy, who parked under the tree for ten minutes and proceeded to knock on our door. For ten minutes. Then he left.

Oh, the brilliance that is our local law enforcement!

For two days here, school was out and that helped. I farmed my kids off in all directions, with relatives who had power, as it is difficult to find anyone who can accommodate a family of five....and anyone who is able to take on such a burden usually has a houseful already.

On Wednesday of last week, school started up again, with a 2 hour delay each day until Friday. Classes were held without power. Robert and I slept on the couch here in the conference room at work. I filled up the gas tank in our Jeep four times last week, running the kids back and forth from various relatives' homes to school.

Oh, and yes: gas. They are jacking up the prices around here because there was a temporary shortage for a few days due to lack of filling stations that had power. So, that's fun.

Things are so disorganized that I have no idea if the kids are getting their homework done, turned in, etc. I don't know if they have everything they need on any given day....book bags, Jo's snare drums for band...Josh's football gear...etc. I don't know whether I'm coming or going.

Last night we stayed with my neighbor (Ruth) who is the step mom of my oldest friend, Wyn. Well, Robert, myself, Jess and Jo stayed. Josh stayed with my across-the-street neighbor, Deb, who has three kids, two who go to school with my crew.

Ruth's home is right around the block from our house. With this temporary arrangement, the kids can catch the bus at their usual stop and I don't have to drive them. That will save us in gas money. We can bring food and put it in Ruth's fridge, and cook at home. This will save us from having to eat out all the time, which was ridiculously expensive- and for a while, only a handful of restaurants were open in our area.

So now I have a daily place to take showers without asking friends in town that have power to take a shower at their place. I can do laundry, without going to the laundromat. I can stop carrying around a bag of toiletries everywhere I go. I can be closer to my animals.

So, to the people that have blessed us so far during this time, I thank you.

• I thank you, Sandy, for use of your shower. It was an amazing gift, because I don't cope well if I feel gross.


• Deb, thank you for the meal you cooked on the grill even though you didn't have power at that time, either. Thank you for allowing us unlimited access to your outside water spicket so we can keep the toilet flushed and the animals watered. Thank you for letting my kids hang out with your kids as much as needed. I never worry about the kids when they're with you. Thanks for taking pictures of the tree and power lines when I had forgotten that I probably should do that. Thank you for other things like feeding the kids snacks and probably other stuff that I don't know about. Thanks for keeping an eye on the animals and helping out with feeding them on the night I couldn't make it back in to town. I don't know what I would do without you.


• I thank you, Tarija, for the use of your shower and for helping with the kids. You are a single mom, but you pitched in and helped without qualm or discussion. I am glad that for a few precious days I didn't have to worry about Jess or Jo at all...as you stepped in and took care of them when I could barely take care of myself.


• Brenda, thank you for several home cooked meals, which meant my stomach could stop protesting against one too many fast food meals. Thank you for doing a load of laundry for me two days after the disaster so I could have clean underwear. :) That's friendship.


• Thank you, Ruth, for offering your help as soon as your power came back on. Despite the fact that you just had cataract surgery, you did not hesitate to open your home. I always felt like your home was my second home growing up. Now I feel like it's my safe haven until things return to normal. The fact that I could take a hot bath and actually shave my legs restored my sanity just a bit. Having a few days' worth of clean clothes in a neat little pile in your laundry room is a huge relief.

Okay, so those are the "thank you" sentiments I wanted to share.

Here's the angst:

• Thank you, little village, for all of your gossip during this time.


• Thank you for saying "It must be 'our fault' that the power is out."


• Thank you, you caring woman, for laughing out loud with your windows down in your truck when you saw the tree on the lines. That was classy.


• Thank you for getting the rumor mill going that we left the house and hadn't been taking care of our pets in our absence. OKAY...what were we doing there EVERY NIGHT SAVE ONE after the storm? Why did Deb's kids come over with a bags of food and jugs of water on that night? Why was our Jeep parked in the side yard? Why were we carrying in jug after jug of water for the last ten days? HMMM? Why haven't the animals died of malnutrition or lack of water?


• Oh, I like the rumor that "DP&L isn't doing anything about the tree because they must not have paid their bill." Okay. I see. I guess we go to work EVERY BLESSED DAY FOR the fun of it. Not to pay our bills. Yeah. In the three years we've lived in that house, we've NEVER ONCE had a disconnect. But we chose this month not to pay our bill? Sure sounds logical to me, "neighbors."


• Thank you, Josh's crazy ex girlfriend, for deciding to get your new (skinhead) boyfriend and his friends to come after Josh last week in school. Thank you for making me take 2 hours of my day to speak with the principal and try to get some protection for my son....the son who just had five stitches from a football injury last week.....the son whose eye is so bloody already that he can barely see out of it. Thank you for that.


• Thank you, stupid boys, for making my husband leave work and run up the school to chauffeur Josh home so your gang of thugs wouldn't harm Josh before the football game. Thank you for making us walk around at the festival with Josh this past Saturday, because we didn't know when you were going to pounce again, and we weren't going to let it happen on our watch.


• And thank you, simple minded principal, who despite all those facts, only suspended those violent boys for one half a day. Even though those boys shoved even you when you tried to intervene in the ruckus.....even though Josh produced threatening text messages he received with the "N" word used repeatedly, along with threats of violence. Thank you for your lack of sensitivity and common sense.

Perhaps you can tell I have a little anger about all of this. Right now I am wavering. I am pondering. I am so unsure of my next move. I have so little faith left. I don't know if I even want to remain in the town that I once thought of as a quiet little rural oasis. I don't want to make any decisions at all until I am not so emotional.

I can't be expected to make any decision right now. It's been too hellish a month.

Did I already mention:

Josh got his driver's license in August. He wrecked our van three weeks later. It was $700+ plus to fix, (rear axle) and $150 for tows. Josh appeared in juvenile court this past Friday for "failure to yield." That was $100. In August, Jess turned sixteen. There was money to have her little get together. Birthday money to dispense, which is a conservative, but standard amount we give the teens for their birthdays.

School started in August. There was money to get school clothes, shoes and supplies for all three. August is always a tight squeeze for us. Then I had an unexpected $900 bill for a snafu on my taxes from 2006.

Joy, joy and more joy! Despite my best efforts, we have finally joined many of our fellow Americans in being behind on our mortgage payment. We're working on getting behind on other bills, too. I have applications in all over the place for a second job. No takers so far.

I am at the point of not knowing for sure which way to turn. I feel numb. I don't know what to do from one day to the next. I don't have any certainty or even any sort of plan.

I think I just laid it all out here on the table, in part, because I have to say this stuff out loud, to someone. Part of it is just venting, as I do from time to time. Part of it is that I'm simply taking inventory.

You know, there are millions of people that have it worse in the world. There are hurting people everywhere...some close to me...some I don't know. Lately I have noticed that it seems like death and carnage and depression and hardship seem to be multiplying. I think other people have noticed it, too. Life seems to be getting progressively harder for people to cope with. Myself included.

I'm done with this post. I've rambled my ramble and griped my gripe. I've said my piece and thanked my peeps.

Thank you for going along for the ride.

Lately

Lately I've been asking myself why I even keep this blog if I can't be bothered to post but once every other month, if that.

I know the reason is simple: there are some of my blogger peeps that I don't have contact with any other way.

They are important to me, and I cherish having them in my life. I love going to their blogs and keeping up with their lives. I love hearing about their joys and triumphs. I like dropping an occasional comment as time and internet connection permits.

So I'm keeping this blog, and I'm going to update it a bit more often. Once a week? That's a goal I can achieve, I'm sure.

So don't give up on me yet, my friends! :)

There is a lot of stress in my life right now. Particularly involving my teenagers. Stress and heartache and dissapointment.

This, too, shall pass. One day I hope to have three well adjusted, happy, fulfilled, selfless, spiritually in touch, emotionally sound children.

Until then, I'm just taking each day as it comes and I'm thankful for the good stuff that's happening in my life.

After all, neither one of them are felons. They are in good health. They aren't expelled from school nor are they failing in any classes. They aren't skipping school and they are not going to be parents any time soon. Yes, they have crappy attitudes, and it's like pulling eye teeth to get them to help around the house. I guess crappy attitudes and teenagers often go hand in hand. So, I'm doing my best to be patient. Sigh.

I've been thinking I have a lot to look forward to in my life right now. That keeps me going.

SOOOOO......

What do I have to look forward to?

• With that tax rebate check that's on the way I'm planning on getting a new couch and chair for my living room. Woo-hoo! (God willing.) I've had new...(I'm not counting gently used furniture)...furniture once in my 17 years of married life and it was cheap so it only lasted a few years. So I'm excited!
• I got some free stuff from Creative Memories for having excellent sales last month. The box is to be delivered today. I love it!
• It's Spring! I look forward to having some sunshine each night when I leave work. I may actually get out of my winter funk!
• Jess and Jo just got their spring pics taken for school and they are always great pics! I'm looking forward to seeing them soon.
• I ordered some stuff for myself through a mail order catalog to include: a new sewing kit, that fancy new craft light cutter for scrapbooking and some organizers for the home. I haven't purchased anything through mail order in a long time. It's fun waiting for that.
• I'm going to church again, and I truly look forward to it. The church I'm going to is about ten minutes away, in a little town that neighbors ours. The pastor, Rex, is a man I've known for 14 years. He was (and still is) the chaplain at our area YMCA, and I used to work there. A few years ago he was preaching at the church I grew up in, but the attendance has been so poor, they reassigned him. The atmosphere at this neighboring church is amazing. There is such a friendly, welcoming feeling there. It's uplifting. I'm looking forward to getting up each and every Sunday. There is about 50-60 people that attend, and they go out of their way to welcome guests. There is a 1/2 hour time to share what's going on in folks' lives and time to pray for the concerns of others. Jo and I started going on Easter, and since then, Jess and Josh have started going. It looks like Josh is going to get involved with the church basketball league, which I think will be a good step in his life.
• I am thinking in May I might get to meet my blogger friend, Denise. Nothing is set in stone as far as a date, but I am keeping my eye on the calendar and our budget for an opportune date. ~Crosses fingers.~
• One of my friends from back in elementary school is getting married Saturday. Yay Trish! It's going to be an informal outdoor wedding. I haven't seen Trish since 2006, so I'm looking forward to it.

My brain isn't allowing me to think too much more at this point. I know there is a lot more good stuff going on in my life, but alas, work calls.

Blessings to you and your family! Thanks for checking in with me!

March Madness

That title was simply an attention grabber.

I really need an attention grabber, because I never blog anymore, and I'm sure folks are tired of coming over here, just to see that I'm still being a slacker/slogger. I just can't seem to get motivated to say anything blogworthy on a regular basis anymore.

I mean, life is good. We had a nice Easter. As usual, we have our up ups and down downs, and then our uneventful days, which make up the bulk of our existence. We work, we come home, try to keep the house in order, pay bills, get up and start all over again.

I've started an actual journal at home. I used to keep one religiously, but when I started blogging, I all but gave it up. I don't know, there's just something comforting about taking a pen in hand and writing my thoughts down. Seeing my own handwriting makes me feel like my words are flowing from my soul, not my brain...if that makes sense.

Josh turned 17 years old yesterday. He came to work with me on the day before his birthday. He snoozed in the conference room on the couch and then walked to town to visit with a cousin. My job is less than a mile from anywhere in town, so he didn't have far to go. For some reason, when I was watching him walk down hill, away from my job, I got the worst pain in my heart....such a deep sadness. So often I distance myself from Josh emotionally, because I can't take the hurt. He can be so unpredictable, that it doesn't benefit me to let myself become complacent, expecting smooth sailing from him. Yet that day I saw his lone figure moving away from me, and I was engulfed in emotion.

So soon he'll be his own man, and the little bit of say so I have in his life will be null and void. That's such a scary prospect for me. He's talking about colleges...pros and cons...financing options...SATS....campus visits....oh man. Wasn't I just changing this boy's diaper? I can't be old enough to have a son that will graduate next year! Can I? Wasn't I just graduating myself?

Josh has finally had the time to concentrate on driving. Robert and I both are taking him out to practice pretty regularly now. For some reason, at this point, Josh seems to be more confident behind the wheel when I'm the one in the passenger seat. I try hard to be calm and reassuring, even though I am somewhat nervous inside as he maneuvers the roadways. He says that I seem totally at ease. Perhaps I should pursue a career in acting! :) Next month, Josh starts driver's ed, so that should be helpful. In the interim, pray for us! :) And send all your extra helmets and bubble wrap! tee hee.

Anyway, when I was watching Josh walk down the hill, away from me, what was I to do but let him know I cared? I grabbed my cel phone and sent him a text message...."I love you, Josh." I got a message back, "ILU2." Good enough for me. :) Technology is our friend.

Today Jo is with me at work, snoozing away in the conference room. There's something about having him nearby that is comforting right now. Maybe it's that I know that Jo has another 8 years of being at home. Maybe that it's because Josiah is always the same kid...unchanging and kind. He seldom gets in a bad mood, and he's always affectionate and compassionate. I so hope that his rapidly approaching teenage years don't diminish his kindness. That would be heartbreaking in and of itself.

We haven't seen much of Jess since spring break started. She's been staying with Robert's sister since last Friday. She wasn't even home for Easter...she went to church with Robert's family and spent the day there. She sent me pictures from her cel phone so I could see what she looked like in her Easter outfit. She'll be sixteen in August, and she, too, is exerting her independence more and more.

I'm so thankful that winter is almost at its end. Winter is a difficult time for me. The bleak, sunless weather brings me down. I think what has helped me this year is my fitness program.

I've been working out 3-5 times a week, between 1/2 hour and an hour per workout. I'm using my walk at home dvds, which I have about 20 of, and the "walk boosters," which include weights, stretchy bands, among other Leslie Sansone walk enhancers. Right now I'm at 20 lbs down. My energy is better, I've not had a cold or asthmatic episode in MONTHS, (knock on wood) my mood is usually positive, and I'm sure that I'm at least one clothing size down.

For now, I'm putting on a belt and just wearing baggy clothes. I don't want to go out and buy new stuff, as I want to lose between 20 and 30 more pounds, and I don't want to have to keep buying new sizes. For me, the most important thing is HABIT. HABIT, HABIT, HABIT. When people ask me what I'm doing to lose weight, it's all about habit for me.

I gained the weight by falling into the bad habit of eating poorly and not being active. I'm losing it, gradually, by replacing those habits with healthier ones. This HABIT can't ever change, or the results will be unhealthy. The weight will come back, my health will decline, and the fitness benefits will disappear.

I'm not looking at my life the same way anymore. I'm not looking to "reward myself" for a certain number of pounds lost. The reward is a healthier life, fewer trips to the doctor, fewer medications to take in the future, and the ability to do more than I ever have.

I think the biggest change I've noticed is not in the scale or in the mirror. It's in my life.

I was shopping with Jess at her favorite outlet mall clothing store about a month ago. She takes the phrase, "Shop 'Til you Drop" to a whole new level.

So, I had been walking around the mall, then holding Jess' stuff, and walking even more, helping her pick some outfits for several hours. After about the first hour, she said, "Mom...are you tired? Do you need to sit down?" I thought about it. "Nope. I'm good." An hour later. "Mom, you probably need to sit down. I'm probably wearing you out, huh?" The answer was still "I'm fine."

And I was fine. I was so thrilled about that. My stamina is so much better than it was. That is a reward to beat all rewards.

In other excitement, I got a Cricut machine. I love it! I've been making some fun stuff with it. I'm making personalized gift tags for birthdays and special occasions....as well as some cool and very easy scrapbook pages. What's cool is that it works with my Creative Memories paper, which I consider a quality product. I know what to ask for from Robert when he wants to know what I want for Mother's Day or my birthday. Cricut cartridges!!!! At $60 per cartridge, I won't be buying those on a weekly basis, but if I ask for them for holidays and birthdays, I'll eventually have quite a library of fun stuff to create. It's a neat invention.

Work is going well. I took the initiative and spoke to my head boss about some issues that had been detrimental to my finances and the way I feel about my job. In August, I will have been with this company ten years. I had just about lost confidence in my future here. The talk went better than I had expected, and I have renewed faith in my job. I've now salaried, though for years I resisted such a move. This change has afforded me more free time, as I now work 40 hours a week, while making more than my former hourly wage at 45 hours a week. It was validating to have my concerns met with such a positive response.

So, finances are looking up, although like everyone, the gas prices aren't a big help. Robert and I are still ride sharing every day in order to avoid having to put gas in two vehicles. Working in the same town...less than a mile apart...is one job perk we have. We drive a van and a Jeep....both are gas hogs. When finances permit, we plan on buying a smaller car. While we need a vehicle with lots of leg room...we don't have small children anymore....if Robert and I can get a small car to drive back and forth to work in, that will save a great deal in fuel expense.

Things are really busy at the foundry where Robert works. He has been working about 20 hours overtime per week for the last two months. That certainly contributes to getting things caught up in our once depressing budget. We don't know how long the overtime will last, but we're doing our best to get ahead in the interim.

I think that is all news that is news right now. I'll be stopping by your blog to see what's going on in your life soon...if I haven't already. In the meantime, blogger friends, SIGN UP FOR A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT, AND LOOK ME UP! (If you're not already one of my facebook pals.) I am on that site more than any other...and it's a great way to stay in touch. It doesn't take a lot of time to communicate and keep one another posted there. Plus with the privacy settings, I feel so much better about posting pictures there. I have 20+ albums with recent pics in them...and only my facebook friends can see them! Once you get over there, you'll see why I have such a hard time keeping up a blog....that site is addicting!

Okay, I'm done rambling. I guess I needed to post a loquacious update. I owe my blogger peeps that.

Until next time, love and many hugs!

Where Am I?

I am at a reflective place in my life. I am feeling better and trying to get some of my priorities in order. I'm at a place where I know my life can't go on as it has, so revisions have to be made. There is stress and worry and issues that sap my energy. We all have difficult challenges to face...in one way or another. For some it might be money issues. For others, relationship issues. Maybe it's job security or emotional upheaval or health concerns. Or all of the above.

I think many people take inventory of their lives at the dawn of a new year. That can be good.

No, I don't do resolutions. They don't stick. I think I do evaluations.

In many ways, there is abundance in my life. Some lacking, much abundance.

Over and over I've seen people in my life pray for blessings and talk about how they wish something specific would happen. And then when the good thing happens, they don't take time to reflect on it before they're off on the next problem.

I'm guilty as charged on this as well. Do I stop to thank God for what blessings I have, big or small? Do I talk of my fortune as well as my misfortunes?

I'm looking at my life, and here's what I am thankful for:

This post was started last month, and I didn't have time to get back to it. However, I still feel this way, so I'm continuing it in February.

• I've been working out 3-4 times a week, and I feel loads better than before.
• Robert's working out, too, and we're both focused on healthier food choices.
• My relationship with Josh is peaceful right now. He has shown real signs of maturity this year.
• Jess is back on ADD meds at her request. The improvement in her behavior and focus is phenomenal. Her teachers are noticing a difference already.
• Jo is spending a lot of time with his cousin...Fred Jr. They've been alternating....we keep little Fred one weekend, and his mom keeps Jo the next weekend. Jo has always been quite opposed to going anywhere to spend the night with ANYONE. Even my mother-in-law. So this is a welcome change for Robert and I. When little Fred is with us, the boys play so well together that we hardly know they're around. When Jo goes there, Robert and I actually get to go on a date now and then. It's refreshing.
• I'm so blessed to have the friends that I do. They are such a treasure in my life!
• I love having Dish network, and have passed many a blah winter day watching my new favorite show, "Monk."
• I've been able to read a couple of great books. Most recently, "Three Weeks with My Brother," by Nicholas Sparks was amazing.
• I have a new favorite cd, which is the new release by Natasha Betingfield. Her songs "Happy" and "Pocketful of Sunshine" have been playing in my cd player quite a bit. My mood is elevated each time I hear those songs. What's even better, is that I got the cd through Rhapsody-free-after saving music download codes from Wendy's cups.
• I spent some quality time with Sheila watching the Superbowl last Sunday. I get to see her at least two more times this month...tomorrow at a 3 hour crop and on the 23rd at an all day crop. We have a lot of catching up to do.
• Saturday, Sandy and I are going to a retirement dinner for a CM big whig. It's free food and door prizes at a fancy hotel in Columbus. It's an excuse to dress up and get out of the house. I'm looking forward to it!
• There's nothing to say real exciting about my job except that I still have one. I'm doing some big time soul searching about my future....
• This may sound silly, but Robert has a coworker whose wife works in a doctor's office. She's been sending in all kinds of fun pens and goodies that the drug reps leave. I've got some pretty nifty pens of late. It's just something fun that I'm enjoying.
• I got a free Build a Bear Valentine dog. I had a $5 coupon and a $10 reward certificate, so I ended up paying a whopping $.69 for it. Yay! Here's a picture:

• Bipsy went to Yosemite last week and she's back! Wheh! What a hectic week! She brought me back a mint green fleece jacket, which I'm lovin'-and wearing right now-and a big Yosemite mug. Yay to unexpected goodies!
• My blogger friend, Denise just bought a house! I am so happy for her! Yay Denise!
• I'm excited that PJ is back, blogging again! I missed you! And she's got a little girl on the way! How exciting!
• Pat continues to learn and grow and she has so many people's lives she has touched through her blog.
• Elliemarie is having a difficult year, and hasn't blogged a great deal. However, she is making some positive and healthy changes in her life. I am so proud of her!
• Holli is pregnant! She's had her first sonogram and all is well! She is thrilled and I'm rejoicing with her!
• It's a new year, with new challenges and new highs and lows. I've got a lot to be thankful for.

Thank you for the blessing you are in my life! If I haven't said it lately, I love you lots!

Happy New Year to All!

Happy New Year! I pray this for my friends: that this year is the most fulfilling, least worrisome, most prosperous year that you've had EVER in your life! That your trials will be few and your blessings MANY!


How was your Christmas?


Ours turned out good after all. All that worrying, and still had a good holiday.


Robert ended up getting a contract signing bonus....when the union where he works settled on a new contract. What good timing! Now it wasn't all that spectacular of an amount, but it sure helped right before Christmas.


We had a lot of bad stuff come about in December of this year. Lots of financial blows, but that was one windfall, and for it I am grateful.


The Friday before Christmas I was feeling yucky, then I got a really sore throat, which got worse the day after Christmas. Now I'm feeling pretty good, just a little nasally. ;)


I have gotten A LOT of sleeping in done. Sleep, sleep, sleep. I love it.


Bipsy's in Paris. I was watching her house (and feeding the kitty cat) as well as watching the home of a friend in our neighborhood. Bipsy's house watching comes with the perk of a hot tub, which I enjoyed several times. Yay! Love that hot tub! Nothing like a hot tub to ease holiday stress! ;)


The Saturday before Christmas we finally got DISH put in! Yay! Two years with nothing but 28 crappy cable channels and now we have 300 and some crappy satellite channels! Yay! Robert finally feels at home in the sticks and I finally have him off my back about "not having anything to watch." What a relief!


I don't really watch t.v. much, normally, but since I've been off, I've been a regular couch/bed/chair potato. I've been wallowing in the t.v. watching. I did read a little bit of a Christmas novel by Debbie Maycomber. Other than that, I've watched "Animal Planet," "Lifetime," "Oxygen" and more mind numbing t.v. than I can count. I have watched "Rachel Ray: 30 Minute Meals," "What Not to Wear," "Monk," "Cold Case," and some shows that really rotted my brain cels like, "Bad Girls Club," and "I Love New York." I feel my intellect decreasing daily. ;)

Okay, it's now January 2, 2008, and I'm back to work.

Robert and I ended up going to TGI Friday's for dinner, and that's where we rang in the new year. We were home by 12:30. Nothing exciting.

I don't really do New Year's resolutions, typically. Do you?

Of course I want to be healthy, more prosperous, etc. But that's an everyday endeavor for me. Doesn't start or end with a new year. I haven't seemed to conquer the desire to get healthy, but I believe since I have more time than before, I can make it happen, one day at a time.

So, did you get anything fun for Christmas?

I got fleece jammies, house slippers to match, a generic "Magic Bullet," since my "real" one is missing in action. Could it be in storage? Still at our Xenia house? Who knows.

Let's see...potpourri, candles, lotsa fleece gloves, perfume, some bath goodies, a pocket sandwich maker, socks, and a really nice pair of suede winter boots. Fun!

I got a lovely blanket from Denise, which she made! Boy, did that come in handy during the few days that I was sick and chilled! I had to fuss with Jess over it, because she seems to think it's hers. :) Today as I left for work, she was cuddled under it. So sweet.

Bipsy gave me a cozy LLBean fleece jacket. Looks like that's going to come in handy this year.

The kids got what they wanted....we pulled it off! Wheh! Every year it's touch and go.

We had a good time during our time off. I am rested and I was ready to head back to work. It's nice to get a mini vacation.

How about you? How did your holidays go? Do tell!

Again, Happy New Year and many blessings to you and your family!

Big hugs!

I Am SUCH a Blog Slacker!

I'll admit it. I am a miserable excuse for a blogger. Truly. This blog is so neglected, someone ought to just turn me in for false advertisement, because I shouldn't be allowed to call this an actual blog, really. Sigh. More like a slog. What you get when you combine a slug and a blog. That's my page. Slog, slog, slog. Fellow bloggers, I'm really a slogger. Sad, but true.

That being said, how the heck are ya? Good, I hope! I have been stopping by my beloved friends' blogs, I just haven't been maintaining mine. What is this world coming to? ;)

I do have exciting news! Josiah's 4th grade team won the Western Ohio Junior Football Conference Superbowl this past Sunday at the Dayton Welcome Stadium! Woo-hoo! Our pee wee Rams were undefeated in all fourteen games, allowing only four scores from game one through the championship game.

There were 36 teams in his conference. Our team was a tiny team in numbers, with just 14 players. Most other teams had 25+ kids per team. Many cities had 4-5 teams, because they had so many kids in their school system. It's truly a David -vs- Goliath tale, and just about every team we played was a Goliath compared to us! I know you can't tell, but I am soooooo proud! Just bursting with pride, downright wallowing in it. After hanging out with these parents and kids, you become like a family, so it's really neat. Tonight is their award banquet, so they'll have a participation trophy, and the Superbowl Trophy as well. ~ Smiles from ear to ear.~

In other news, Josh turned in his football pads on a Monday a few weeks back, and started basketball on the same Tuesday. Sigh. I was hoping that he would take the winter off and take driver's ed, but no such luck. Boo. But he's staying busy and I keep thinking, "This will look good on college applications." Every. Time. I. Drive. Him. The. Fifteen. Minutes. One. Way. To. The. School. I. Say. That. Literally. It's my new motto. "This will look good on college applications."

Jess is doing well, and there isn't much of anything to report with her right now. No news is good news, I guess. Perhaps. Maybe.

I'm thrilled to have a four day weekend ahead! Woo-hoo! Last night Robert took Josh to basketball practice, and I picked him up. Since Jo no longer has practice, I had time to make some Christmas cards. I had such a good time, listening to Christmas music on our local holiday station and making the cards. I plan to finish up the whole process the day after Thanksgiving.

That's what I usually do every year on the day after Thanksgiving. I don't join in the shopping extravaganza. I assemble, apply labels to, and get ready to mail Christmas cards. I was a little late getting the family pics taken this year for the cards, but as we speak, the pictures are being printed and all I need to do is go pick them up. Insert big sigh of relief here. I actually took the kids' pictures in about 5 minutes, right before the bus came one day last week. I was waiting for all of us to be home in the evening, but that never happened, so I gave up. The kids will represent our entire family on the cards this year. They are the ones that people want to see, anyway, right? ;)

What are your plans for the holiday, my fellow Americans? Are you traveling or staying home?

While Robert does most of our cooking (99%) throughout the year, I do a large share of the cooking on Thanksgiving. Jess and Jo pitch in to help, and it's a lot of fun. We let Josh sleep so he doesn't wake up cranky. We'll cook way too much food, and we'll all sit around feeling overfull, watching the parade and football. I'm getting sleepy just thinking about the Thursday afternoon nap!

I've been blessed to see a lot of my friends here lately! I went to Holli's for a a mini reunion over a month ago, which was cool. There were a couple of girls there that I haven't seen since high school. Catching up was fun.

Sheila and I had a great visit at a crop recently....a privilege that is becoming rare since she moved close to an hour away.

My friend Wyn was in town for nearly a week recently due to her mom's unexpected illness. Her mom got better pretty quickly, so Wyn and I were able to have some quality hang out time.

Two Saturdays ago, I saw my friend, Mary Jane, who recently had a crochet book published. The local library held a show showcasing the fashions in her book, which Jess, my niece, DeeDee, and I attended. I just barely made it to the show, as Josh had a 90 minute basketball scrimmage in the morning, Jo had a tournament game in the afternoon. I felt privileged to be able to make it.

As a side note, Mary Jane's book is called "Positively Crochet" and is sold on Amazon.com, if you are interested. Her name is Mary Jane Hall, and the book is full of adorable designs. I don't crochet, but I am going to try some of the basic projects, just because they are so darn cute! I used to attend church with Mary Jane, where her husband was pastor and my brother, Eric, was assistant pastor.

My fun month continued, as I got to have dinner with my friend, April, and her daughter last week. We caught up over salads at Applebees'....though we've both pledged not to let so much time elapse before we get together again.

That same week I stopped by my friend, Tracy's, house and got to see her twin baby boys and lovely daughter. I hadn't seen Tracy since our Saturday day out in July, though I got to see her kids at the local flea market on an outing with their grandma last month. Babies grow up so fast, so as usual, I snapped a lot of pictures that day.

My CM friend, Sandy, has stopped by frequently here at work the last few weeks. It's been so much fun! She's such a blessing.

There is nothing quite as enriching as spending time with my friends! They're treasures! When I don't get to see my friends in person, I've been talking with several on facebook, which I'll admit is taking up way too much of my online time these days. ;)

On that note, I'm going to close for now.

Have a wonderful week, and if you're celebrating Thanksgiving this week, have a very happy one, filled with more joy than you can contain!

I'm Alive, I Promise...but Am I LIVING? ;)

You know, my woeful neglect of this blog of late is shameful at best. What has this blog ever done to me that I've turned my back on it so completely? Nothing, nothing at all. ;) I think I've just gotten to the point that on most days I'm too busy to blog, and then on the days I'm not too busy I am too bummed or tired to blog. I know, excuses, excuses. If you only knew how many posts I've started and allowed them to sit idle without publishing. Sigh.

Rest assured, I am thinking of you, my blogger peeps. I am jumping over to your blogs every chance I get, and I am reading your posts. If my schedule (and my computer) cooperate, I actually get to comment now and then. But I haven't forgotten you, I pinky swear.

Over a month ago, Josh pulled his hamstring at practice. We've spent the last month since then running him to the orthopedic specialist, physical therapy, etc. No mistake: if they are injured, football players still have to be at practice, at every game, etc., on top of their rehab. It's been tiring, and expensive. Thank God for AFLAC! And trust me, I'm not getting paid to say that. It's been a godsend! The good thing is, Josh is back in the game! They are fast healers, those teenagers! ;)

I'm also very appreciative of Josh's team trainer who was so supportive during this process with Josh. He came to the ER the night of the injury just after we arrived. He stayed, asked questions, offered input and reassurance, and even called the orthopedic doctor at home to discuss Josh's case. The following morning, he called the dr.'s office, made Josh an appointment, then called me at home to tell me where to be and when. He even provided detailed directions on how to get there! I half expected him to show up in our driveway and chauffeur us there as well! It was so helpful.

Here's a clip of a video (crossing fingers now) of his very first game back from his injury. I wish I could recoup like this! Sorry about the shaky video. I was leaning on the fence, which some kid was kicking, so I took what I could get. ;) Hope you don't get motion sickness!




Well, Jo's team is still undefeated. They are awesome! One night Robert and I dropped Jo off at a scrimmage, then went to our local Dollar General to get some gloves, as it was going to be a cold night. We weren't prepared for the drop in temperature, as we had just experienced a record setting hot weekend. So, we were about ten minutes late getting back to the game. The score was already 23-0, with Jo's team taking the lead that early on. We were flabbergasted! (How often do you get to use that word, huh?) ;)

Jo's team's last regular season game is this coming weekend. That may sound good in theory, but my life is getting ready to get even busier.

The playoffs work like this: Every team goes in to the playoffs equal. It doesn't matter how many wins or losses a team has during the regular season. Team names are thrown in to a hat, and that's where the selection begins. If a team wins on Saturday, they play again on Sunday. The playoffs run from October 27 through November 10th.

Now, keep in mind that Jo's team is undefeated in the regular season. They're very good. Chances are, they're going to make their way through several teams before they're eliminated, if at all.

Btw, isn't this just the cutest thing? Daddy and son, watching the game, waiting for Jo's team to take the field..... ;) Brag, brag, brag...or as Pat would say, "Cluck, Cluck, Cluck." teehee!

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Share Photos - Free Video Hosting

Therefore, my weekend plans are on permanent hold until at least November 10th. And November 11th is Jo's birthday.

Then what? Thanksgiving is just around the corner, then the mad dash to get ready for Christmas! In between all of that, Bipsy and I have another trip to Tennessee for training. Looks like early December. I'm tired just thinking about it. How about you? Have you even started thinking about Christmas? Ugh! Who has the time?

One cool thing: I just found out that my friend, Wyn, is going to come for a quick weekend visit on the last weekend in January. She hasn't been here since March of 2006, and that was just after my surgery. I was tired and lackluster, so I am hoping for a high quality visit this time around. ;)

Nothing else real exciting to report at this point.

Our fall colors aren't in full splendor this year due to the drought. We have had rain for two days, but I think it's going to be a dissapointing autum color-wise this year. This is usually my favorite season due to the gorgeous scenery that we normally have, so let's cross our fingers for better weather next year.

Hope this post finds you and your family blessed! Until next time, (which I hope isn't as far off, if I can stop being such a blog slacker) may you have more joy than you can contain!

Okay? Love and hugs!

Hi there

How are you? Good, I hope.

Just thought I'd drop in a quick post to let you know I am still out here. :)

I'm hoping that my coffee kicks in soon, because I am barely keeping my eyes open today.

Lately I have been tired a lot. I think it is simply the non stop, race track of a life I have these days. I keep thinking that football doesn't last forever. And the games are fun. I'm meeting lots of new people. I'm catching up with a lot of people from back in high school. So there is some good intermingled with all the exhaustion. ;) As of right now, Josh's team remains winless, and Jo's team remains undefeated. It's nice just to see them play.

We did get out to our area festival last weekend, and I got some fun pictures of the hot air balloons going up:

I am still reading every chance I get. Have read some great books lately. I'm a fast reader, and it helps pass the time while waiting for football practice to let out. I've also been taking my Tazzy with me to practices. He loves the attention he gets, and I get to spend more time with him. I'm not home nearly enough, so my portable pup rides along.

"Are we there yet?"

I finally got out to visit my friend, Sheila, and see the house she bought...and moved in to back in July. It's about a 45 minute drive for me. I spent about three hours with her Sunday, which was the most we've seen each other in months. The Browns (Robert's team) played the Bengals (my team) on Sunday, and I decided to make myself scarce. The Browns triumphed, but Robert gets all worked up during these games, so I like to find somewhere else to be. That way he can grump at the t.v. in peace. :) Sheila has two new additions to her family:

Nicky, who was dropped off in the country not far from Sheila. She's about 6 months old. She's a sweetie! It's speculated that she is a Border Collie/Cocker Spaniel mix.

And Houston, a 2 year old Red Doberman that her friend gave her when she moved in to an apartment. Sheila has five acres for him to explore. He's big and intimidating looking, but sweet as can be. Still puppyish. He's all played out in this pic, so he found a sunny spot to snooze.

Bipsy and I head out to Tennessee again this weekend. We'll leave Sunday morning and come back Monday evening this time. We won't be staying quite as long this trip. I am happy that I won't miss Jo's game Saturday, so it's good timing. I think I will enjoy getting away for those two days, even if we won't get as much sight seeing in. This week at work will be hectic, getting the finishing touches on the training materials.

Nothing else to report, really. Jess is doing well, and not currently playing any sports. She spends most of her time these days fussing with her hair and watching dvds or talking with her friends online. Yesterday she was on burnout and decided to read. Oh, to be young again. So few responsibilities, so much free time. :)

Well, that's about it on my end. Hope this post finds you blessed! Hugs!

What's Happening on This End

I really don't know where to start writing or what to say. It seems like if I let a few hours slip by, what I would have said in my post changes. Since Monday- when I was more than a little melancholy....which was a contrast from the good feelings I had about my weekend...my moods have fluctuated more than I care to think about.

Yep, it was a good weekend. I think that's three in a row. I know the weather played a huge role in how I felt about the weekend. I spent some time Saturday with my friend, Sheila and later on in the morning with Holli. Both visits were great and I felt blessed to have spent some time...albeit brief but quality time with both. The rest of the day I spent working in the yard, doing laundry and hanging out with Jess and Jo.

All day Sunday I worked in the yard, then after Jess came home from church, she and I spent time grooming the animals. That was fun. The dogs and cats alike ate up the attention. I probably worked a total of 12 hours outside that day. And managed 4-5 loads of laundry in between. I felt accomplished-and bone weary-by the end of the day. Plus I got a little sun, which helps my energy levels. I was thankful that I didn't have any back pain at all despite the hard day's work.

Monday I was a bit down because of Josh's birthday. I can't helped viewing my current relationship with him as severely flawed if not borderline failed. We did have a good night Monday night, and his mood was positive. We had cake and ice cream, laughing and joking and being silly. I couldn't find any actual birthday candles for his cake, so I put sixteen tea light candles on his cake. We all cracked up laughing about it. We always give our older two kids money for their birthday, and they get to pick what we have for dinner. Robert made shrimp, Josh's favorite food, and we had a nice night.

Tuesday morning we started out the day with Josh snapping at me and generally being hateful. It was all over laundry and I finally decided to put my foot down. From now on, Josh does his own laundry. He's put me down, snapped at me, argued with me, complained and bickered about everything laundry related. It's alternated from me not doing his basketball uniforms soon enough to suit him or him not having his favorite kind of socks or him not being able to find where I put a certain shirt to me accidentally putting one of his t-shirts in with Jess' clothes. At this point I told him that since he is so obviously unsatisfied with my laundering of his clothing, that from now on I will no longer touch his clothes. He will wash his own or they won't get done. He immediately quit talking. I think that's one problem solved.

Tuesday afternoon was his first session with his counselor. I had to go in first and spend time filling her in on what I feel is going on with Josh, his medical history, and his ongoing issues. That took 45 minutes, conservatively. She then called Josh in, who was in the room with the counselor alone for all of 15 minutes, at most.

When Josh came out his face was beet red and he was visibly angry. He refused to discuss what was said in that brief period of time, but he kept saying, "I hate that woman, I can't stand her. She makes me so mad."

I tried to talk to Josh about it, ask him questions on the drive back to work, but he shot down all my attempts with, "I don't want to talk about it." Finally I said, "I guess you'd prefer that I don't talk to you at all after these sessions. Am I right?" He said, "That's what I'd prefer."

So, I said nothing else. We drove the ten minutes across town in silence. Right before we pulled in to the parking lot at work, where Robert had just got off work and was waiting to meet us, Josh said, "It's not you. It's her. I can't stand her. She asks me the same questions over and over. I answer a question, and she asks me again. It's stupid."

From there, I turned Josh over to Robert and went back to work. I talked a little bit with Bipsy about how it went, then kept working.

They want to see Josh every week for at least six months. They have set up an appointment with their psychologist (first available) to get him on some ADHD meds. The counselor thinks that he may be angrier and more frustrated as he gets older because his ADHD has been untreated. I took him off his meds for ADHD back when he was in sixth grade because he wouldn't eat, couldn't sleep and became a straight A zombie. I didn't want that for him. He lost so much weight he looked like skin stretched over bone. I couldn't justify the risks. The counselor says they now have a lot of newer medications, including non-stimulant meds that they could try with Josh. They have meds that stimulate appetite as well. So, we'll see how that goes.

The original assessor said Josh would "probably be seen once a month, probably would not need to see the doctor and probably would not be medicated." Pretty much everything she said has turned out to be the opposite.

I don't know how I feel about all of this. Frankly, I don't even know how I feel about Josh anymore. Some days I don't even want to see him at all. Some days I wish it was 2 years from now and he was 18 and I could say, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out of here." Then there are days I want to reach out to him and hold him and cry and tell him everything is going to be okay. Some days I feel sick with guilt for being a bad mom....I feel like I must have been or he wouldn't be so angry with me. Then there are days I feel like he's an ungrateful jerk who has two good parents that he takes for granted, and doesn't deserve us. Sometimes I feel like a battered wife, in fear of a man's volatile emotions, but it's not my husband. It's my own son. I can't just walk away from him. I feel so confused about the whole thing. Any given day I can assume these feelings, depending on so many factors. I'm not sure I'll ever truly get over this.

Last night Robert, Josiah and I went to have Mexican food at El Dorado's (my favorite restaurant AND Holli's) after a bit of shopping. The food and service was great as usual. Prior to dinner I got a couple of lawn chairs, some organizational items for the kitchen and a new garden hose. It felt nice to get some outdoor household stuff...spring is all around and I felt like celebrating its arrival a bit.

I have been feeling really good about spring. Robert has decreed ;) that he wants to start going back to church on Easter Sunday. We've long talked about how the toy shop knocked us out of the habit of going to church. Since the move to the country, Robert hasn't joined me in going to church at all. I probably went with the kids five or six times and then just quit going. Jess started going to John's church every Sunday and she's gotten quite involved. So, I was happy to hear that he is eager to start back to church and we both agreed on where we want to go. So, that's been something I've looked forward to.

As I type this post, I've felt better and better. I know that a lot of good things are happening in my life, just as a lot of stressful things are happening. I look around me and I see such renewal in the earth...baby cows and colts nestled up to their mommas in the fields surrounding my home. The tree in front of the office is starting to blossom. I always enjoy that sight. The tulips and marigolds are starting to peak through the earth at home. Every place I look there is life.

Right now Bipsy is going through an extremely difficult personal situation and I have been investing a lot of my energy to helping her through it. She is a caring, giving person who has helped me through more pain and sorrow than I could ever repay. I'd like to ask for prayers for her and her family as she endures some difficult times over the next few months. Right now her pain is my pain. We work that closely together, and my heart breaks for her as she is coping with some serious issues in her life.

Today it's raining and gray, but I trust that soon my mood will emerge as sunny and full of joy. Good things are on the horizon. Do you feel it? Can you see it? We're going to make it through and be stronger for it...all of us.