Until I wake up enough to put words on paper that make sense, here's another one of the lists I have saved in my computer that amuses me. It may not be quite as good as the last one, but it must have had some merit, or I would have deleted it.
Diplomancy is the art of saying, "nice doggy!" until you can find a rock.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
Everyone hates me because I’m paranoid.
Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Don’t take life too seriously: you won’t get out alive.
And most of all: Don’t look back: they might be gaining on you.
I heard this phrase the other day that was a suggestion for a bumper sticker. At first I was put off by it, but the more I thought about it, the funnier it became to me. It was:
"Jesus Loves You, but Everyone Else Pretty Much Thinks You're a Jerk." How many times have we felt that way? Wanting to love, but struggle with our inner urge to tell someone off....(especially driving!)
One of my favorite quotes from a movie (and I'm really going to mess this up) is from the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy's Auntie Em is talking to the neighbor who has come to take Toto. Auntie Em says something like, "All these years I've been dying to tell you what I think of you....(big pause)...but being a Christian woman....I CAN'T!"
That makes me laugh! How true, how true! If anyone says it's easy to love everyone, they're probably not that easy to love themself! :)
Enough of my goofiness this a.m.
I'll try to get back here later in the day. Until then, have a good morning!