Thursday, April 19, 2007

Can't Even Stand Myself

I am in such a foul mood. Ugh! I mean it! I don't even want to be around me! I feel so negative! Negativity is literally oozing from my pores! I want to go take a nap. I want to go home and vegetate. I want to be anywhere but here at work.

I am so full of angst and fatigue and anger and frustration and resentment. I hate when I feel like this. It's my own fault. I feel myself falling in to some patterns of behavior that are so unlike me. I'm not using my normal coping strategies. I'm gradually turning to some rather unhealthy ones.

I have some issues with some people in my life, but I don't want to say anything. For various reasons.

Holding all this in is getting to me.

I feel so far behind on all of my goals...for the house, for my finances, for my health.

I really think I need a vacation. Or a three day weekend at least. I've worked so many weeks with only weekends off- I think it's finally getting to me. 9-10 hour days, 5 days a week. I need some time to do something other than work.

But of course, on the weekends, I scramble around to try to play catch up for what I'm not getting done through the week.

I wish I were a bear...because people expect them to be grumpy, and it would be perfectly acceptable behavior for me to hibernate and ignore everything and everybody for a whole winter. :) Sounds like a plan to me!


Holli said...

Do you have sick leave? Go home, go to bed have a day at home w/ no one else there... peace and quiet. You need to do that a few times a year! I have days where I get on my nerves. LOL!

Elliemarie said...

I second that, Holli. Take a day for yourself-work can survive without you (honest). Everyone needs a sick day now and then. Take care of yourself!

pat said...

It is called a Mental Health Day. You need a day just for yourself to regroup. No job. No house. No kids. No husband.

PJ said...

Oh Kristi! I'm so sorry you can't stand yourself. I go through the same thing - that's when I use my blog to gripe. :)

Know that God loves you just as you are. He knows your ups and downs and He's right beside you each step of the way! Give yourself as much grace as God does.