Thursday, September 7, 2006

Blogger Boredom

I don't know what's up with me lately, but I seem to have blogger boredom....with my own blog, anyway. I usually love to blog, but here lately I just feel like reading other people's and not posting to mine. My poetry blog is sorely neglected. I know I've been out of town, so maybe it's just fatigue from all the traveling. I'm sure the feelings of boredom will fade. I hope so, anyway.

I do have a funny story to tell about my trip. Keep in mind, my husband is black and my children are biracial, so any of the descriptive words used below are simply to tell the story exactly as it happened. Some folks might have gotten nervous regarding the events that occured. I, on the other hand, found the events quite amusing...fodder for future story telling.

On my way to my uncle's house, I had to switch buses in Atlanta. Atlanta was my last bus change until Athens, Georgia. My uncle and aunt were to meet me at the Athens terminal.

The Atlanta terminal is huge in comparison with all the other terminals I saw. It was ten times bigger than Dayton's bus station, at least. One thing that I learned early on, even at the smaller stations, was that it is always a good idea to line up quickly at my assigned gate, so that I could have a good choice of seats on the bus. So, this is what I did in Atlanta. I lined up quickly, boarded the bus, and looked for a seat between the front and middle of the bus. I like having a window seat, so I found an empty seat by the window behind a black man, who was, at the time, staring out his window quietly. There was no one sitting on the aisle beside me.

Shortly after I chose my seat, a young white girl walked up and asked me if the seat beside me was taken. I assured her that it was not taken, and she gratefully sat down. Later I introduced myself, and found that the young traveler's name was Kayla. Kayla was 18 and from Jacksonville, Florida. She was traveling alone for the first time as well. She was on her way to South Carolina to see her boyfriend.

So, Kayla and I chatted, waiting for the bus to fill up. People got on, found their seats, and minutes passed.

While this was taking place, the gentleman in front of me began to talk to himself. At first, he chattered quietly under his breath, looking out the window. Gradually, his voice grew louder and more noticeable. A few passengers surrounding Kayla and myself began to glance nervously at the man. Kayla and I exchanged glances, and we both decided to put our headphones on. I listened to my Ipod and Kayla listened to her c.d. player.

The man became louder still. He seemed to enjoy his own company, regaling himself with stories and adventures from days gone by.

Then, out of nowhere, he took a break from his talking. It was during this time, a gentleman, he himself a man of color, boarded the bus and sat down by the chatterer. He certainly didn't know what he was in for.

Minutes later, the chatterer began talking again. This time, he seemed to start arguing with himself....almost like he was having an argument between two personalities. I couldn't always hear exactly what he was saying, but he was extremely animated and was using a great deal of profanity. Here is an example of some of the dialogue:

"I said to him, WHAT THE H*ll?"

"Yeah, yeah, I did! I got a piece of that a**!"

"And he said to me, "H*ll yeah, mother f****er!"

"I can't believe he said that s***, man! Can you?"

"H***, no! That was wild!"

Nearly everything that came out of the man's mouth was laced with profanity. This type of nonsense went on and on for about twenty to thirty minutes. It got louder and louder by the minute.

Kayla and I were stifling laughter. I decided to call my friend and coworker, Bipsy, on my cel phone.

I whispered, "Bipsy, you have got to hear this to believe it!" I held out the cel phone a bit so she could hear the rambling. She was cracking up laughing when I put the phone back to my ear. I quietly explained what was going on, but of course the man was talking so loud he couldn't hear anything but the sound of his own voice.

Just then, while still on the phone with Bipsy, the bus driver started talking over the loud speaker.

He announced, "Okay, you two back there: If you can't carry on a conversation without disturbing your neighbors, then I will put you off this bus! And NO SWEARING on the Greyhound!"

Bipsy said, "Did he just say, 'No Smoking on the Greyhound?' or what?"

I laughed, "No!" I whispered. He said, "No Swearing!"

So, at that point I whisper to Bipsy, "I'd better go. I think he's getting kicked off the bus. I'll call you later."

Just as I hung up the phone, the poor hapless guy beside the weird guy starts protesting to the bus driver: "It's not me! I haven't said a word! I don't even know this guy! He's been talking to HIMSELF ever since I got on! He's CRAZY!"

Everyone around us nodded in agreement. A couple of people chimed in, saying, "Yeah, he's arguing with himself!"

Just then, the crazy chattering guy raised up in his seat and points to Kayla and I. He yells, "It's not me! It's the WHITIES! The WHITIES have been picking on me since Chatanooga! That's the only reason I'm p***ed off!"

I think Kayla and I both looked equally shocked.

"WHAT?!" Kayla laughed. "We're just sitting here, minding our own business!"

Again, all the people around us chimed in to validate our point.

"No sir!" said the normal guy in front of us. "They've been quiet ever since they got on in Atlanta."

Taking in all the comments, the bus driver then instructed the crazy guy to either quiet down or he would put him off the bus. At that point, the now irrate crazy guy stomped to the back of the bus and found an empty seat.

Kayla and I shook our heads and resumed listening to our music. At the front of the bus, everyone muttered and chuckled and everything calmed down.

Not five minutes later, voices started raising at the back of the bus. Soon, we could hear the familiar voice arguing with himself all over again.

A young black woman soon stomped to the front of the bus, and proceeded to tell the driver all about the latest excitement. I couldn't exactly hear what she was saying, but we all knew she, too, had an altercation with the once benign chatterer.

Our next stop was Athens. I called my uncle to tell him about the excitement. I told him that I was sure that the driver was going to put the troublemaker off the bus at that stop. Sure enough, the police were waiting for the man when the bus came to a stop. The driver called the man to the front of the bus and made him leave before anyone else was permitted to exit. I passed the police talking to the man on my way out. Apparently, they made the man forfeit his bus ticket. His final destination was Augusta, but Athens was as far as Greyhound would take him. I'm not sure what happened to him from there.

I found my uncle, we chatted a minute, and off we went. They took me out to dinner, and we then made the 1/2 hour drive to my aunt and uncle's home. Relieved to be off the bus and with my relatives, I began to settle in.

About an hour after arriving there I got notification on my cel phone that I had a voice mail. Sometimes when my cel phone is in my purse, it goes straight to voice mail.

The message went something like this:

"Hi, Kris. It's Bipsy, you know your friend and coworker? The one you were talking to when some crazy guy in front of you was making a scene? Remember me? The one you said you'd call back? Ummm, yeah. It sure would be great if you'd give me a call back and let me know you're okay. I've been waiting for like an hour and a half now, and I just thought I'd call you back and make sure you're safe. Okay. Call me. Bye."

Oh, what a laugh! In all the excitement, I left Bipsy hanging. Oh well. It's not every day I get called "Whitey".....To my face, anyway. The whole thing kinda threw me off my game. :)

This is a story I hope to tell my children's children. What a hoot!

Hope you're having a great day. More later.


Holli said...

Oh that's hysterical!!! I would've been scared to death! That is so funny that you called Bip - I wouldn't have thought of it!
I only do my blog like once every other week - I'm terrible about keeping up on stuff. Well thanks for the great Friday morning laugh. Love ya girl!

Elliemarie said...

What a riot! A little on the scary side, but a hilarious story all the same. And poor Bipsy!