Wednesday, July 26, 2006

A Leg Up on the Situation

Yesterday's post regarding my son, Jo, in church made me think of some funny stuff my kids have said in the past. Generally, if you want a truthful opinion, ask a young child.

Case in point:

I was sitting around one weekend. As per my usual habit, if I don't have anywhere to go, I let myself go. What does that mean? I have to look halfway decent...meaning I have to dress moderately well and do my hair and makeup Monday through Friday for my office job. On the weekends, I turn grunge. At least a little. I shower, but I don't put on makeup...don't style my hair, just let it air dry. I brush my teeth, but sometimes I'm so lazy I don't shave my legs. If I've got a free weekend, I spend it at home doing housework. Why would I care about anyone seeing my legs? I usually don't wear shorts...heck, sometimes I slouch around in a robe and slippers if I'm really feeling lazy. Though I haven't had the privelage of doing that in a while.

Anyway, one weekend Rob suggested we all go out to eat. I was wearing shorts, but I hadn't shaved my legs in a couple of days. I was trying to determine this: if I went out just the way I was, would my leg stubble be obvious, or could I get away with it? Should I got put on jeans? It was puzzling to me. (I told you I am vain!)

So, that's when I decided to enlist the opinion of my children. That was my first mistake. My second mistake was being extremely vague about the phrasing of the question.

So, I asked, "Hey kids, do you notice anything wrong with my legs?"

Remember what I said about kids being honest in sharing their opinion?

Josh and Jess looked at my legs. They seemed to be taking the question relatively seriously. A few moments passed. I don't remember who spoke first, but basically, this was how the rest of the conversation went:

"Hmmm...let's have a lot of scars on your one knee."

"Yeah, she does! Wait, she also has a big freckle on the side of her leg."

"Maybe it's a mole. It might be a mole."

"And Mom, your legs are really pale. Don't you ever get out in the sun? Your arms are really tan, so it makes your legs look extra pale."

"The lower half of your legs are skinny, but your top legs are jiggly. I wouldn't say fat, really, they just jiggle when you walk."

I stared at these two small people that I brought in to the world. By then, my mouth was gaping open.

"Okay! Okay! Gosh! What I mean is: ARE MY LEGS HAIRY?!?!" I was flabbergasted.

They both paused and looked again.

"Nope." was their mutual concensus.

I went back in and put pants on, anyway. After that critique, I thought maybe long pants would be a better idea from then on. Why subject the general public to the frightening view that I formerly thought of as two normal looking legs? :)

More stories to follow.

Hope you're having a good "leg" day. :)


neicybelle said...

oh my word!! that's funny!! i do the same thing on you said, if you're going to stay home, then why bother getting dolled up?

I learned a long time ago, not to ask vague questions to my girls...they can be brutally honest!

Anonymous said...

I am cracking up over your story today! I can't wait for more of your life to unfold in front of my watchful eye.

Kristi K. said...

Wheh! I'm not the only one that becomes a weekend fashion bum. :) These days, now that my kids are teenagers, I don't always have to ASK their opinion to get their critique of my "look". They may be the only reason I have any style at all! :)

If you keep these nice comments up, I'm going to quit my job and become a standup comic! :) Thanks so much for your kind words about my writing. It gives me a reason to keep typing away! :)

Hope you both have a great day!

Anonymous said...

I promise to keep coming around, I really enjoy your open, funny and HONEST! Go figure. I will be on vacation for a couple of weeks, but when I return, MORE COMMENTS! ;-)

Kristi K. said...

Thank you for saying that and have a great vacation!