Thursday, April 12, 2007

Two Nights Running

For two nights in a row, I've dreamt of babies. The night before last, it was a blond haired, fair skinned baby boy that I knew was biracial. The baby was not my child. It was a distant relative, but I don't know who it belonged to. I kept watching him, because no one else would take care of him. He was crawling around, just kind of on his own. No one seemed to care. He was chubby and cute, and I was trying to keep my eye on him without getting too attached.

Last night, I dreamt I had a baby boy. He was mine. I was totally enthralled with him. He was cute, sweet, and smart. I kept remarking that he was the fastest learner I had ever seen. I nursed him, I held him, my heart overflowed with love for him. Based on everything in the dream, this was my biological child.

At one point I was on the phone making a reservation for us to have another family portrait done. I remarked proudly that, "Yes, that's right. Family of six." I turned to Robert in the dream and said, "It's going to be hard to get used to saying that. I'm so used to saying we have a family of five." I remember that the baby had beautiful tan skin and reddish brown hair. Even Josh was pitching in to hold him.

For the record, I cannot have any more birth children. That ship has sailed. So I am not sure where all this baby stuff is coming from. I don't have the urge to have another baby, even if I could. I look at women my age who are getting pregnant for the first time and think, "Better them than me." I love holding babies and then giving them back. I'll be thirty-five in July, and I'm glad my child bearing years are behind me.

I realize the struggles I put myself through having children at such a young age were tough. However, at this point in my life, I'm glad I didn't wait. I think, often, about being a young woman...still in my forties, having all adult children. I'm not presuming that they'll all be out on their own, but I realize that I will still be able to enjoy life-travel-do things for me....Robert and I can make plans as a couple instead of as a family from time to time. So, needless to say, I'm looking forward to those days. Empty nest syndrome? Bring it on.

So, I don't know what these dreams are trying to tell me. It's the weirdest thing. I think I'll start writing them down.


3 comments:

Holli said...

I am fascinated with dreams and meanings so I had to look this up here you go:
To see a baby in your dream, signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. Babies may symbolize something in your own inner nature which is pure, vulnerable, and/or uncorrupted. Babies may represent an aspect of yourself that is vulnerable and helpless. If you dream that you forgot you had a baby, then it suggests that you are trying hide your own vulnerabilities; You do not want to let others know of your weaknesses.

If you dream that you are on your way to the hospital to have a baby, then it signifies your issues of dependency and your desire to be completely care for. Perhaps you are trying to get out of some responsibility. If you are pregnant, then a more direct interpretation may simply mean that you are experiencing some anxieties of making it to the hospital when the time comes.

To dream of a crying baby, is indicative of a part of yourself that is deprived of attention and needs some nurturing. Alternatively, it represents your unfulfilled goals and a sense of lacking in your life.

To dream about a starving baby, represents your dependence on others. You are experiencing some deficiency in your life that needs immediate attention and gratification.

To dream of an extremely small baby, symbolizes your helplessness and your fears of letting others become aware of your vulnerabilities and incompetence. You may be afraid to ask for help and as a result tend to take matters into your own hands.

neicybelle said...

wow...i don't remember the last time i dreamt about a baby...it's been way too many years ago...

interesting...

i'm glad my baby days are over, too...i'm 42 and my youngest is 14...i will be young enough to enjoy my grandbabies and be a fun part of their lives...but i think at your age, your biological clock is going...just one more...let's have one more...both me and my sister went through that at about that age...

*shrugs* whatever the meaning, i hope you have peace about it...

Elliemarie said...

Very interesting. I rarely dream, or if I do I don' recall them at all, so I think it's really cool that you can try and interpret yours.