Tuesday, January 30, 2007

What I Wanted Them To Hear

I wanted them to hear all the things I never heard growing up.

"You're beautiful."

"You're special."

"You are so smart."

"You can do anything you put your mind to!"

"You are so funny! You make me laugh!"

"You are so creative! How did you come up with that idea? That's awesome!"

"Mommy is so proud of you!"

"God loves you and so do we!"

"I am so glad you're my baby!"

"You're going to do something great in life!"

What did they hear?

Pictures are healing to me....writing is healing. So, I'm sharing a few more pictures from days gone by, along with the thoughts that are whirling around in my mind.

This one is Josh at 9 months old. He had such cute chubby little cheeks, and such dark, expressive eyes. Those eyes are just as expressive today, but so often what they express is anger.

The next one is of Josh and Jess in 1996. Josh was five, Jess was 3 1/2. They were my little angels. They were easy kids to parent then....funny, rowdy, onery and full of energy, yes: but happy and bubbly always.

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Oh for just one hour to go back into the past and hold them on my lap one more time.....

1 comment:

neicybelle said...

those pics are beautiful kris...please don't let this grief swallow you whole...i know what you mean about things you want them to hear...i've probably spoiled my girls a little because i have showered them with all the love i never received...we do our best, kristi...and someday this will all blow over...this is your first teen...you wouldn't believe what jess put me through as a teen...i have all of these letters she wrote to me about how much she hated me...it was hard to read those, but i kept loving her with all of my heart...she even ran away...but we're doing great...and you and your son will too...just keep being there for him...ok? love you so very much!