Monday, October 30, 2006

I've Been Up and Down and Over and Out.....

I came in to work today feeling like I was going to burst into tears at any given moment.

I woke up today, and one of our dogs tore up bagged leaves all over the yard. I had spent some of my imaginary spare time putting them in those cute "pumpkin" yard bags Saturday. The bags were shredded, and the leaves were blown right back into their original mess.

Not only that, the trash cans got knocked over and trash is everywhere, too. I didn't have time to stop right then and pick stuff up, because I was already running late to work.

The kids argued as usual, getting on the bus.

I was not at home enough to get laundry caught up this weekend, so I played, "Find a decent outfit" this a.m., which I hate. I like having all my outfits ready to go on Monday morning, enough for the entire week.

The time change has me feeling out of sorts, money has me uptight, blah, blah, blah.

On and on, etc, etc, etc. I could formulate a list so long of stuff that is stressful in my life right now that it would bore you to tears. Then it would be two of us that felt like crying on Monday!

However, I looked outside and it's 65 degrees here. There isn't a cloud to be seen in the sky. It's a wonderful day.

I decided, "that's it, I'm going for a walk." I had a few things to pick up from town, so instead of driving, I walked. It felt great.

The breeze blew my hair everywhere. I was so happy to get away from everything and everybody that on my way back, I was smiling like I had just won the lottery. I know people had to think I was a few bricks shy of a load, but I don't care!

It was so nice to be out of the office, out of the house, out of the toy shop, out of what can feel like prison! It rained all last week! I now understand why people feel so dark and depressed in cities where it rains so often! Ugh!

Sigh. That walk was just what I needed.

I prayed on the way back. I didn't ask for anything. I didn't ask for help with my life, I didn't ask for God to take away my stress, I didn't mention world events, I didn't ask for forgiveness for anything, I didn't even lift up my friends' problems during my walk. I just moved along, saying, "Thank you, Jesus, thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you." And I meant it.


neicybelle said...

walks like that are good for the soul...i'm so glad you felt better afterwards!

Holli said...

I am so glad! Even the weather can not pick me up out of this very dark place that I am in. I can't praise, I can't thank Him. I'm not even sure if I trust Him at this point. I just feel like walking away - just grab one or two pairs of clothes and never looking back.

Elliemarie said...

I'm glad your walk was able to make you feel better! It is an amazingly beautiful day outside-kudos to you for going out to enjoy it.

Anonymous said...

What is it about LIFE that makes it so difficult? Is it the choices we made? Here we are two women with two different lives in two different states and we feel the same. I know I should count my blessings but sometimes it is so hard.