These were too cute for me to keep to myself.
* Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
* A day without sunshine is like... night.
* On the other hand... you have different fingers
* 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
* 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
* Remember, half the people you know are below average.
* He who laughs last... thinks slowest.
* The early bird may get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
* Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
* A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
* Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
* How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
* OK, so what's the speed of dark?
* When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
* Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
* Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
* How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
* Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
* What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
* I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
* Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
* Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
* Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
* Life isn't like a box of chocolates... it's more like a jar of jalapeno's. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.