Hard Time
I'm having a really hard time today. I'm super busy at work, Thank God, because it's keeping my mind off of things. The only thing is, I'm trying to focus, and my thoughts are random and scattered. Is this what post traumatic stress disorder is? Is it from the lack of oxygen while I was being choked? Is it from the multiple bruises on my head from having it banged up against the range hood and put through the oven? I can't think clearly, and when I do, I want to cry. But I can't cry. I have to keep busy. Right now I cycle from being angry to blaming myself. That's just me, though. I always think, "What if I did this or that differently?" no matter what the situation. I always have.
This is so hard. Just so hard.
I'll update later on how the hearing went.
2 comments:
I know it's hard sweetie! And it's a woman thing... the mind spinning story after story and your imagination doing all the what ifs. Pray to the Lord to calm your mind and to give you confindence. The guilty feelings are all very natural feelings. But stand firm, spare the rod spoil the child. The rod is the justice system this time. You are doing the right thing. I'm sure you don't feel well not only from bumps and bruises but because your mind is reeling and the stress is taking away all energy. Take deep breaths, continue to eat healthy through this and you will feel better. I love you and I am praying!
oh kristi baby...i have been unable to concentrate since my last attack...do not blame this on yourself...we cannot control our kids and what goes on in their minds...trust me on this one...i did not raise jess to be a cutter with suicidal thoughts...we live in a fallen world and our children are the victims in all of this...we just have to be there to help them cope, manage, and someday thrive in this world...
take care of yourself sweety and give it all time...
Post a Comment