It Could Only Happen to Me

The embarrassment continues....

Story #3

I had just started working at my current job. I had only been here around six months. I was still kind of quiet, learning the ropes, and whenever I talked it was usually about my family or my church. I hadn't emerged from my shell yet. I wanted to prove myself as a good worker, and not make waves. I've been here eight years now, and I'm over the whole "make a good impression" kick.

So, it was winter, and I always wore my favorite coat. It was a full length black leather coat, a good choice to keep the bitterness of Ohio winters at bay. Just like my purse, my coat pockets always seemed to be full of everyone else's junk. Every time I turned around, one of my kids was saying, "Mom, hold this." or "Mom, can you put this in your purse?"

At this particular time, Rob's toy shop was right down the road. We had a lot of kids hanging out at the toy shop. Our kids were always with us on the weekends while we worked the shop, so, naturally, other kids liked to hang around as well. Josh was eight, Jess was seven, and my baby, Jo, had just turned a year old.

One child that visited was around eight or nine, and he had a pair of real locking handcuffs with him. He said that his mom told him he had to get rid of them, so he left them at the shop for Josh to play with. Right away, I knew this was an accident waiting to happen. I could just see Jo putting the keys in his mouth or Josh handcuffing himself to something and losing the key. So, while no one was looking, I picked up the handcuffs and put them in my pocket, intending to throw them away as soon as I could do so without the kids seeing me. I figured, out of sight, out of mind.

Needless to say, as the day wore along, I forgot all about them being there. The weekend came and went, and soon I was back to work on Monday.

The end of the day came, and as we office staff were all gathering in the lobby, ready to leave, I reached in my coat pocket to pull out my keys. Much to my surprise, I didn't pull out keys. I pulled out a set of handcuffs complete with keys.

You could have heard a pin drop. Here I was, Miss Innocent and Quiet Office Worker, wearing a full length black leather coat, fishing handcuffs out of my pocket.

I, in vain, attempted to explain the handcuffs. To this day, I get razzed about it. Talk about shattering my image in 0 to 60. :)