Shared Email Chuckles

These were too cute for me to keep to myself.

* Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

* A day without sunshine is like... night.

* On the other hand... you have different fingers

* 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

* 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

* Remember, half the people you know are below average.

* He who laughs last... thinks slowest.

* The early bird may get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

* Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

* A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

* Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

* How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

* OK, so what's the speed of dark?

* When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

* Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

* Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

* How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

* Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

* What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

* I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

* Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

* Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

* Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

* Life isn't like a box of chocolates... it's more like a jar of jalapeno's. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.