Farewell, 2005.... I won't miss you

That sounds harsh, but sadly, it's true. I've had enough heartache in this year to last a lifetime. I could float an oceanliner with the tears I've cried. I am surprised my hair isn't completely gray yet.

They say that adversity makes us stronger. I am sure that I could pull a semi with my teeth uphill in a snowstorm at this point. I have to make light of it, or I will cry.

It was 1 year ago...45 minutes and counting....when I walked in and watched Mom take her last breath. It doesn't seem possible that one year could have passed so soon.

I sit here in what I still think of as her house....and the familiarity gives me comfort. I've made changes, but there is enough of her still here to make me feel like I haven't lost her completely.

Yesterday in the grocery store I got to talking with a lady and her mom about coffee creamers. Who knows how I end up chatting with perfect strangers about the goofiest stuff? Anyway, it was a nice 3-4 minute chat with two obviously sweet ladies. Then I walked away and the thought hit me, "I have no mom. Both of them are gone." I suddenly envied the daughter, whose mother was still in her life.

Today I decided I didn't want to go out and leave the kids with Rob's mom. I decided what I really wanted was a family game night. We're cooking, we bought them some sparkling cider, and went out and picked up some new games. I'm looking forward to it. I think 2006 should be rung in with laughter and fun. I've had my fill of the crying thing.

Welcome, New Year. May it be a blessed year for all of us, in this town, in this state, in our country, in the world. May God's hand protect and guide us.

May we all love deeper.