Farewell, 2005.... I won't miss you

That sounds harsh, but sadly, it's true. I've had enough heartache in this year to last a lifetime. I could float an oceanliner with the tears I've cried. I am surprised my hair isn't completely gray yet.

They say that adversity makes us stronger. I am sure that I could pull a semi with my teeth uphill in a snowstorm at this point. I have to make light of it, or I will cry.

It was 1 year ago...45 minutes and counting....when I walked in and watched Mom take her last breath. It doesn't seem possible that one year could have passed so soon.

I sit here in what I still think of as her house....and the familiarity gives me comfort. I've made changes, but there is enough of her still here to make me feel like I haven't lost her completely.

Yesterday in the grocery store I got to talking with a lady and her mom about coffee creamers. Who knows how I end up chatting with perfect strangers about the goofiest stuff? Anyway, it was a nice 3-4 minute chat with two obviously sweet ladies. Then I walked away and the thought hit me, "I have no mom. Both of them are gone." I suddenly envied the daughter, whose mother was still in her life.

Today I decided I didn't want to go out and leave the kids with Rob's mom. I decided what I really wanted was a family game night. We're cooking, we bought them some sparkling cider, and went out and picked up some new games. I'm looking forward to it. I think 2006 should be rung in with laughter and fun. I've had my fill of the crying thing.

Welcome, New Year. May it be a blessed year for all of us, in this town, in this state, in our country, in the world. May God's hand protect and guide us.

May we all love deeper.

Muddy Shoes on White Tile

Muddy shoes on white tile is an appropriate post name right now. Today, it's 60 degrees, but all the melting snow has succeeded in making a mud hole out of our yard...front, back and side. At my urging, the kids take their shoes off at the door; I wipe Taz's feet on the way in from potty breaks. But somehow, the mud still creeps in, and I manage to mop every day without it looking like I did. Yuck! How is the mud getting in? Aliens? It's a mystery.

I remember when Mom was going to put this flooring in. I told her that my first apartment had white tile in the kitchen, bathroom and foyer. I told her I never stopped mopping and it still never looked good long. She laughed and said it was just her living at home, attributing the dirt in my apartment to two (at the time) rowdy toddlers.

A year later, she was cursing her decision and said the floor would be the death of her yet. "All I ever get done is mopping this infernal floor! The minute I mop, the cats get it messy!" was her outcry. "I should have listened to you!" While there was the slightest bit of satisfaction at me being right for a change, what comes around goes around. So here I am today, carrying on her legacy, mopping, sweeping, Swiffering and cursing my fate. That is until I finally get sick of it and put in a newer, lower maintenance floor. If I ever get done mopping long enough to work that in to my schedule.

I'm still happy to be off work, sleeping in and getting things caught up. I may scrapbook today. Let the floor look dingy for another few hours. I need to do something that lasts longer than just long enough for me to walk away. A picture is worth a thousand words they say; perhaps I'll take a picture of my floor freshly mopped and scrapbook about that. That's one way to immortalize my efforts that doesn't require me holding out a sign saying, "Will work for Swiffer refills." And less frustrating.

I'm No Scrooge, but I Sure am Glad it's Over!

Wheh! Another Christmas is behind us! I am half ashamed to say that, but that is the truth as I see it. Boy, is that tiring! I just about work myself into a frazzle, and I'm not even one of those moms who bake for two months prior to the holiday!

It's just the Christmas pageants, family parties, work gift exchanges, etc, etc. It just adds to the already breakneck pace of our lives. There are beautiful moments intertwined that make it all worthwhile.....just fewer and farther between as the kids get older. With teenagers, if they crack a grin, chances are they're up to something.

One noteworthy event is that we're cat sitting our former cat, Sarah Jane. Back in 2001, my boss and dear friend lost her cat to cancer. At that same time I was struggling with asthma attacks on a daily basis, and cat dander was found to be one culprit. My boss came to visit, Sarah Jane loved all over her, and it became clear that a solution for both of us was at hand. We could all still see Sarah Jane, but my health wouldn't be continually risked by having her indoors.

So since then my asthma symptoms are few and far between, and Sarah Jane is thriving. Sarah was six when Brenda took her, and she looks basically the same, except for a few extra pounds. We kept her once before when my boss was on vacation, and this time she is moving in to a new house, so it's easier for us to keep Sarah. This lessens the risks that Sarah will try to dart out of the house during furniture moves.

It's fun having her around. She's mellowed a whole lot since we last kept her. She's still got the same silky grey fur that is long and beautiful.

Other than that, I'm enjoying a week off...and sleeping in a lot.

At least Christmas is over! We got through it, thank heavens!