Where Am I?

I am at a reflective place in my life. I am feeling better and trying to get some of my priorities in order. I'm at a place where I know my life can't go on as it has, so revisions have to be made. There is stress and worry and issues that sap my energy. We all have difficult challenges to face...in one way or another. For some it might be money issues. For others, relationship issues. Maybe it's job security or emotional upheaval or health concerns. Or all of the above.

I think many people take inventory of their lives at the dawn of a new year. That can be good.

No, I don't do resolutions. They don't stick. I think I do evaluations.

In many ways, there is abundance in my life. Some lacking, much abundance.

Over and over I've seen people in my life pray for blessings and talk about how they wish something specific would happen. And then when the good thing happens, they don't take time to reflect on it before they're off on the next problem.

I'm guilty as charged on this as well. Do I stop to thank God for what blessings I have, big or small? Do I talk of my fortune as well as my misfortunes?

I'm looking at my life, and here's what I am thankful for:

This post was started last month, and I didn't have time to get back to it. However, I still feel this way, so I'm continuing it in February.

• I've been working out 3-4 times a week, and I feel loads better than before.
• Robert's working out, too, and we're both focused on healthier food choices.
• My relationship with Josh is peaceful right now. He has shown real signs of maturity this year.
• Jess is back on ADD meds at her request. The improvement in her behavior and focus is phenomenal. Her teachers are noticing a difference already.
• Jo is spending a lot of time with his cousin...Fred Jr. They've been alternating....we keep little Fred one weekend, and his mom keeps Jo the next weekend. Jo has always been quite opposed to going anywhere to spend the night with ANYONE. Even my mother-in-law. So this is a welcome change for Robert and I. When little Fred is with us, the boys play so well together that we hardly know they're around. When Jo goes there, Robert and I actually get to go on a date now and then. It's refreshing.
• I'm so blessed to have the friends that I do. They are such a treasure in my life!
• I love having Dish network, and have passed many a blah winter day watching my new favorite show, "Monk."
• I've been able to read a couple of great books. Most recently, "Three Weeks with My Brother," by Nicholas Sparks was amazing.
• I have a new favorite cd, which is the new release by Natasha Betingfield. Her songs "Happy" and "Pocketful of Sunshine" have been playing in my cd player quite a bit. My mood is elevated each time I hear those songs. What's even better, is that I got the cd through Rhapsody-free-after saving music download codes from Wendy's cups.
• I spent some quality time with Sheila watching the Superbowl last Sunday. I get to see her at least two more times this month...tomorrow at a 3 hour crop and on the 23rd at an all day crop. We have a lot of catching up to do.
• Saturday, Sandy and I are going to a retirement dinner for a CM big whig. It's free food and door prizes at a fancy hotel in Columbus. It's an excuse to dress up and get out of the house. I'm looking forward to it!
• There's nothing to say real exciting about my job except that I still have one. I'm doing some big time soul searching about my future....
• This may sound silly, but Robert has a coworker whose wife works in a doctor's office. She's been sending in all kinds of fun pens and goodies that the drug reps leave. I've got some pretty nifty pens of late. It's just something fun that I'm enjoying.
• I got a free Build a Bear Valentine dog. I had a $5 coupon and a $10 reward certificate, so I ended up paying a whopping $.69 for it. Yay! Here's a picture:

• Bipsy went to Yosemite last week and she's back! Wheh! What a hectic week! She brought me back a mint green fleece jacket, which I'm lovin'-and wearing right now-and a big Yosemite mug. Yay to unexpected goodies!
• My blogger friend, Denise just bought a house! I am so happy for her! Yay Denise!
• I'm excited that PJ is back, blogging again! I missed you! And she's got a little girl on the way! How exciting!
• Pat continues to learn and grow and she has so many people's lives she has touched through her blog.
• Elliemarie is having a difficult year, and hasn't blogged a great deal. However, she is making some positive and healthy changes in her life. I am so proud of her!
• Holli is pregnant! She's had her first sonogram and all is well! She is thrilled and I'm rejoicing with her!
• It's a new year, with new challenges and new highs and lows. I've got a lot to be thankful for.

Thank you for the blessing you are in my life! If I haven't said it lately, I love you lots!

Remembering Tiga

According to shelter records, Tiga (pronounced Tee-guh) was born somewhere around August 2002. We adopted Tiga from the local shelter in January of 2003. When we first got him, it was because we thought he had pretty eyes, and because we felt sorry for him. He was the only cat/kitten that was not up and attempting to get our attention. He was lying passively in the cage, looking sad.


At first, he was not thriving, wouldn't eat, had mite and flea infestation and was filthy. We took him to the vet, got him de-flead, de-mited, cleaned up and back on his feet.

The vet told us that he was siamese flame point and domestic short hair mix. His eyes were the most unusual shade of blue....light like the ocean against his white fur. He had yellow tiger stripes on his tail and tips of his ears. I'd never seen another cat like him. One thing about him that was unlike other cats I've known (especially Sheba), he would never groom himself much. Sheba, who we got in August of 2003 as a kitten, did most of his grooming for him.

Robert always said that Tiga was "straight up alley cat." For years, he'd tip over our trash and dig in it if given half a chance. Even though food was always available to him. I think it was because he was on his own at an early age, on the streets. No matter how much he ate, he always wanted more, and was getting pretty portly at just over five years of age. I suspect he was going to the neighbor's house to eat in addition to eating his meals with us. Tiga never seemed to do anything in moderation.

We named him Tiga after a Japanese super hero called, "Ultraman Tiga" that the kids used to watch on Saturday morning cartoons. I think his was the only pet name we all agreed on without bickering.

When he was strong enough, we had him "altered," but it never curbed his desire to roam. He always preferred to be outside, climbing trees, exploring, and tormenting the dogs as much as possible. The dogs and all the neighborhood cats knew he was in charge. I literally have videos of Tiga putting our big dogs to flight when they thought they would sneak up on him and hassle him.

This is one of my favorite pictures of Tiga, sitting close to me between the computer and the tv. I thought the angle made it look like he was on tv.

He got in these silly moods and would practically tear the house apart racing around, sliding the rugs all over the floor and generally acting goofy.

If I walked around the block, he followed me like a dog. Same thing in the house, or if I happened to be doing yard work. Wherever I was, he followed, to see if he could help. Sometimes I had to put him in the house while I was mowing the lawn. He'd literally try to hop up on the mower while I was mowing. He knew no fear.

Tiga loved riding in the car with me. If I was going for a ride and he knew it, he would hop in and ride along.

With his best friend, Sheba. He loved Sheba and merely tolerated all other animals....and there were plenty he didn't tolerate. He treated Sheba like she was his daughter.

Tiga died in his sleep last night. We think it was accidental antifreeze poisoning. He was gone for three days this week, came back and seemed disoriented at first, but then seemed to recover rapidly. He was eating and drinking and using the litter box without incident. I didn't know he was so desperately ill.

Though I am overwhelmed with sorrow right now, I do know he lived the short life he had to its fullest.

~We will miss you and we will never forget you, Tiga.~

Happy New Year to All!

Happy New Year! I pray this for my friends: that this year is the most fulfilling, least worrisome, most prosperous year that you've had EVER in your life! That your trials will be few and your blessings MANY!


How was your Christmas?


Ours turned out good after all. All that worrying, and still had a good holiday.


Robert ended up getting a contract signing bonus....when the union where he works settled on a new contract. What good timing! Now it wasn't all that spectacular of an amount, but it sure helped right before Christmas.


We had a lot of bad stuff come about in December of this year. Lots of financial blows, but that was one windfall, and for it I am grateful.


The Friday before Christmas I was feeling yucky, then I got a really sore throat, which got worse the day after Christmas. Now I'm feeling pretty good, just a little nasally. ;)


I have gotten A LOT of sleeping in done. Sleep, sleep, sleep. I love it.


Bipsy's in Paris. I was watching her house (and feeding the kitty cat) as well as watching the home of a friend in our neighborhood. Bipsy's house watching comes with the perk of a hot tub, which I enjoyed several times. Yay! Love that hot tub! Nothing like a hot tub to ease holiday stress! ;)


The Saturday before Christmas we finally got DISH put in! Yay! Two years with nothing but 28 crappy cable channels and now we have 300 and some crappy satellite channels! Yay! Robert finally feels at home in the sticks and I finally have him off my back about "not having anything to watch." What a relief!


I don't really watch t.v. much, normally, but since I've been off, I've been a regular couch/bed/chair potato. I've been wallowing in the t.v. watching. I did read a little bit of a Christmas novel by Debbie Maycomber. Other than that, I've watched "Animal Planet," "Lifetime," "Oxygen" and more mind numbing t.v. than I can count. I have watched "Rachel Ray: 30 Minute Meals," "What Not to Wear," "Monk," "Cold Case," and some shows that really rotted my brain cels like, "Bad Girls Club," and "I Love New York." I feel my intellect decreasing daily. ;)

Okay, it's now January 2, 2008, and I'm back to work.

Robert and I ended up going to TGI Friday's for dinner, and that's where we rang in the new year. We were home by 12:30. Nothing exciting.

I don't really do New Year's resolutions, typically. Do you?

Of course I want to be healthy, more prosperous, etc. But that's an everyday endeavor for me. Doesn't start or end with a new year. I haven't seemed to conquer the desire to get healthy, but I believe since I have more time than before, I can make it happen, one day at a time.

So, did you get anything fun for Christmas?

I got fleece jammies, house slippers to match, a generic "Magic Bullet," since my "real" one is missing in action. Could it be in storage? Still at our Xenia house? Who knows.

Let's see...potpourri, candles, lotsa fleece gloves, perfume, some bath goodies, a pocket sandwich maker, socks, and a really nice pair of suede winter boots. Fun!

I got a lovely blanket from Denise, which she made! Boy, did that come in handy during the few days that I was sick and chilled! I had to fuss with Jess over it, because she seems to think it's hers. :) Today as I left for work, she was cuddled under it. So sweet.

Bipsy gave me a cozy LLBean fleece jacket. Looks like that's going to come in handy this year.

The kids got what they wanted....we pulled it off! Wheh! Every year it's touch and go.

We had a good time during our time off. I am rested and I was ready to head back to work. It's nice to get a mini vacation.

How about you? How did your holidays go? Do tell!

Again, Happy New Year and many blessings to you and your family!

Big hugs!

A Couple of Things That Have Made Me Smile This Christmas Season

It's easy to think that my holiday season has been all bleak and sad this year. But that's not entirely true. Yes, I'm fighting the blues, blah and all the stresses that come with the season.



But there have been some smiles along the way. For example:

• Rudolph and Clarece that Robert and Jess made for me at the end of November from Build-a-Bear. (B-a-B ought to pay me for all the free ads they get on my blog, lol!) Rudolph's nose lights up and if you press his foot, it plays a song. How sweet!


• We've had a lot of snow around here, so it may be a white Christmas!


• I was able to get Josh and Jess' gifts through Ebay much cheaper than anywhere else and they did get what they want- though used- and they are okay with that compromise.


• I set out to make my holiday cards this year, and I did that, and I got them all out except one or two, which I am working on. I managed to get the holiday pictures taken and the letter written as well. That was quite a project, and I feel I accomplished something.


• I still have a job.


• I still have my sanity (I think.)


• I made it to my dear friend, Bipsy's holiday party Saturday, despite a freezing rain storm. I even blow dried my hair and used a curling iron on it when I was getting ready to go! I have been using the "heater in the Jeep" blow drying method for months now. Felt good to primp a little.


• A friend sent me a picture of her office, and in it I saw several items I had sent her over the last year. It brought tears to my eyes. And a smile to my lips.


• I got pretty flowers from the former general manager of our sister company: The pictures does not do the arrangement justice. They are especially lovely now that the roses have opened up.

• I got a Christmas card from one of our sister company's employees. I had only met this employee once, during one of our training trips. It was an unexpected and welcome surprise.


• Yesterday, my friend, Sandy, stopped by with this sweet book:

• Sandy's daughter, Beth is in town and I got to visit with her Saturday! How fun! We swapped ringtones and compared phones and did a lot of catching up.

You know, there's so many more happy little moments in my month that I haven't listed here. I've had lovely chats with my friends on facebook, I've reconnected with some people I only catch up with once a year, and I've spent an hour here and there snuggling on the couch, watching Christmas dvds with the family.

So maybe this celebrating the joy of Christmas thing isn't about having a stress free season. Maybe it's about happy little blessings that light upon us like butterflies- so lightly that if we're not careful, we'll miss them altogether.

If I don't get another chance to say it, Merry Christmas and a very happy 2008!

Where Are You Christmas?

Where are you Christmas?
Why can't I find you?
Why have you gone away?
Where is the laughter
you used to bring me?
Why can't I hear
music play?

My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas
changes too?

Where are you Christmas?
Do you remember
the one you used to know?
I'm not the same one
see what the time's done
Is that why you have
let me go?

I would type the rest of this song....about Christmas being here if you care and so on....but I'm just not feeling it right now. Faith Hill sings the song beautifully. But I'm not past the "Where Are You" part. The joy of Christmas alludes me yet again. Anyone else there in their life right now?

One too many stresses....losing a portion of my benefits here at work right before the holidays....(about $400 a month)....ongoing drama with life in general. Sigh.

I love Thanksgiving. Spending time together, cooking, laughing, eating, watching the parade. No huge expectations and potential dissapointments.

But Christmas...it's becoming a holiday that no matter how hard I try to celebrate it, I find myself dreading it more every year.

Teenagers have expensive wants. Budgets are tight all year, and then add Christmas to it, and things become next to impossible.

I love giving. I love wrapping gifts. I enjoyed making cards this year.

I just don't enjoy the worry that comes along with the whole thing.

Sometimes I wish I was Amish.

Then I wouldn't be shopping for MP3 players and video games right now.

Hope you're feeling the warmth of the holiday season. Send a little of that joy my way, okay? I could use some right now. ;)